Now that we have entered into a new school year, I know I will not post almost everyday. For at least the first few weeks, I will do good if I post once or twice a week. There is so much going on and I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet. I say yet, because there is one. It has to be!
Over the years, I have prayed and ask "Lord, deliver me from procrastination and disorganization and add some time management." Well, He is making that happen. The only way I am going to succeed this year is to have those things put in check.
With that said, I am off for a good Saturday morning break. Then I have to drop off Baby Bandit to his meetings. I have to go to school for a few hours to make sure I am prepared for the students' first day of school. I already need a vacation!
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
She Shut It Down!
I just tried to read one of my daily blogs. I received the following messsage, This blog is open to invited readers only. I was confused. I tried to access it a few more times. I was just about to send her a message but decided to check her tweets for today. There it was. She deactivated her blog account. I was hurt. I wanted to cry.
I sent her a message on Twitter. She decided to quit blogging to the masses because of a few comments were made that were out of line. She is very open and shares what is going on in her life. Her honesty and realness is what drew me. She had postings dealing with everything, including raising her son, dating, sorority events, hair, finances, and her spiritual walk. I learned so much from her and I hope I have deposited into her life as well. Our backgrounds have quite a few similarities; therefore, I can definitely relate to her in multiple ways.
My friend is the reason why I started the blog. I wanted to be able to give to others what she has given to me. She may come back to the blog world, but it will not be personal at all. It will focus on the girly things: hair and fashion.
Her decision to end her blog makes me wonder about this blog. I like writing it, but everyday I wonder if the wrong person is going to read it and take if for something it is not. One piece of advice I was given is to write like nobody is reading it but me. However, that is very hard to do. With today's developments, it makes it that much harder.
I hope my friend has a change of heart. I am really going to miss her blog. However, I truly understand. I can still follow her on twitter and send her emails. I will still be able to connect and bond.
I sent her a message on Twitter. She decided to quit blogging to the masses because of a few comments were made that were out of line. She is very open and shares what is going on in her life. Her honesty and realness is what drew me. She had postings dealing with everything, including raising her son, dating, sorority events, hair, finances, and her spiritual walk. I learned so much from her and I hope I have deposited into her life as well. Our backgrounds have quite a few similarities; therefore, I can definitely relate to her in multiple ways.
My friend is the reason why I started the blog. I wanted to be able to give to others what she has given to me. She may come back to the blog world, but it will not be personal at all. It will focus on the girly things: hair and fashion.
Her decision to end her blog makes me wonder about this blog. I like writing it, but everyday I wonder if the wrong person is going to read it and take if for something it is not. One piece of advice I was given is to write like nobody is reading it but me. However, that is very hard to do. With today's developments, it makes it that much harder.
I hope my friend has a change of heart. I am really going to miss her blog. However, I truly understand. I can still follow her on twitter and send her emails. I will still be able to connect and bond.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Bucket List
Do you remember the movie Bucket List from 2007 with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson? Did you ever watch it?
I never watched it from start to finish, but I have watched bits and pieces of it. For those of you who never seen or heard of it, the movie is based on two men completely different from each other in so many ways. They are cancer patients reluctantly sharing a hospital room. Freeman's character creates a bucket list but throws it away. Later, Nicholson's character finds it and insist THEY complete it together. He even adds a few to the list. Its a great feel good movie. Put it in your movie rotation.
Now why am I talking about this movie? Lately, I have heard several people talk about their bucket list. Over the last couple of years, many of my friends have taken up skydiving! Yes these people are jumping out of the sky!
Everyone have stated it is an exhilarating experience. I am not sure if I am going to pick that one up. However, based on their stories, it is a possibility!
When I think of bucket lists, I think of great experiences such as skydiving, bungy jumping, climbing Mt Everest. But the more I think about it, my bucket list is anything I wanted to accomplish before I "kicked the bucket". It does not have to mean anything to anyone else....JUST ME. A bucket list is a fancy name for listing my goals. And guess what? I have been striking things off of that list from the day I set my first goal as a little girl!
Some things off of my bucket list:
I never watched it from start to finish, but I have watched bits and pieces of it. For those of you who never seen or heard of it, the movie is based on two men completely different from each other in so many ways. They are cancer patients reluctantly sharing a hospital room. Freeman's character creates a bucket list but throws it away. Later, Nicholson's character finds it and insist THEY complete it together. He even adds a few to the list. Its a great feel good movie. Put it in your movie rotation.
Now why am I talking about this movie? Lately, I have heard several people talk about their bucket list. Over the last couple of years, many of my friends have taken up skydiving! Yes these people are jumping out of the sky!
Everyone have stated it is an exhilarating experience. I am not sure if I am going to pick that one up. However, based on their stories, it is a possibility!
When I think of bucket lists, I think of great experiences such as skydiving, bungy jumping, climbing Mt Everest. But the more I think about it, my bucket list is anything I wanted to accomplish before I "kicked the bucket". It does not have to mean anything to anyone else....JUST ME. A bucket list is a fancy name for listing my goals. And guess what? I have been striking things off of that list from the day I set my first goal as a little girl!
Some things off of my bucket list:
- Going to college
- Earning my degree
- Buying my first car
- Buying my first home
- Becoming a teacher (1st childhood dream/goal/desire I can remember)
- Going on a cruise
- Becoming a dancer (childhood accomplishment)
- Shooting a gun
- Going to Barbados (childhood dream)
- Create my own artwork
- Having multiple careers (insurance, real estate, and teaching)
Some things still on my bucket list:
- Going to Vegas
- Seeing a Broadway show
- Earning a Master's degree (will accomplish this December)
- Getting married
- Traveling abroad (Australia and Africa)
- Visiting each state
- Visiting each country in the Western Hemisphere
- Teaching at a college
- Learn to speak Spanish fluently
- Being financially free (meaning no debt including a mortgage)
- Salsa dancing
- Learning how to wear make-up (Serenity can you help a sista out!)
- Become a financial coach
Possible bucket list additions:
- Skydiving
- Scuba diving
- Surfing
- Take and complete a kick boxing class
- Take marital arts classes
- Become a fitness trainer
What is on your bucket list? Do you even have one? Take time to create one and then start making an effort to create the memories by doing the things on your list.
Do you need some getting started? Google it or here are a few to give you some ideas.
I am looking forward to reading about your lists. I might even add it to my list.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Count Your Small Blessings
Many people look at big things to make them happy: big party, a new car, a new home, a new marriage, etc. It is important to our overall well-being to take in the little things. The things many people take for granted or no longer even notice. Simple things being able to hear the birds chirping
or smelling the roses
Today, I reflected on a few things this weekend that made me smile.
1. Spending some quality time with my boys. Baby Bandit and I are watching some game shows right now. We have some of the same tv habits. We watched most of our crime shows over the weekend already. We will probably catch a movie on Netflix later today. It is too hot to run around. We are staying in and enjoying floats, ice cones, and any other cool treats we can find.
2. Earlier today, he took the initiative to send off for more information on a few colleges that sent him emails this week. This might not seem much to do to many. However, I have been working on him about procrastination and planning ahead. For him to take the initiative is huge. On the same note, he started a conversation about using this week to get back on the school time routine. School starts a week from tomorrow. Therefore, no sleeping in late or sleeping the entire afternoon away. I made some suggestions to get him through the times his body will want to sleep. Baby steps! We are getting there.
3. Rae Rae and I spent Friday night just hanging out and catching up. We had us some homemade polish boys, watched tv, and talk. I was able to listen to what was really on her heart. We have the type of relationships where we do not have to wear masks. We are able to truly be ourselves. I learned from another one of our friends, Original Oldgirl LadyLee, to just listen and ask questions to help the other person to reach their own answers. We are planning a girls weekend soon!
Its the small things that count. When you can appreciate the little things, God will bless you with bigger things.
I challenge you today to count your small blessings or those little things that put a smile on your face.
or smelling the roses
Today, I reflected on a few things this weekend that made me smile.
1. Spending some quality time with my boys. Baby Bandit and I are watching some game shows right now. We have some of the same tv habits. We watched most of our crime shows over the weekend already. We will probably catch a movie on Netflix later today. It is too hot to run around. We are staying in and enjoying floats, ice cones, and any other cool treats we can find.
2. Earlier today, he took the initiative to send off for more information on a few colleges that sent him emails this week. This might not seem much to do to many. However, I have been working on him about procrastination and planning ahead. For him to take the initiative is huge. On the same note, he started a conversation about using this week to get back on the school time routine. School starts a week from tomorrow. Therefore, no sleeping in late or sleeping the entire afternoon away. I made some suggestions to get him through the times his body will want to sleep. Baby steps! We are getting there.
3. Rae Rae and I spent Friday night just hanging out and catching up. We had us some homemade polish boys, watched tv, and talk. I was able to listen to what was really on her heart. We have the type of relationships where we do not have to wear masks. We are able to truly be ourselves. I learned from another one of our friends, Original Oldgirl LadyLee, to just listen and ask questions to help the other person to reach their own answers. We are planning a girls weekend soon!
Its the small things that count. When you can appreciate the little things, God will bless you with bigger things.
I challenge you today to count your small blessings or those little things that put a smile on your face.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Summer is Over!
Its official. My summer is over. Today is the second day back to work. Two weeks of training, then the children return.
The students received their schedules in the mail. I even checked my schedule. I saw a few surprises.
After a few kids called Baby Bandit for the lowdown on teachers, I decided to check my schedule. I have some huge classes! Like over 30 children and I was switched to a new classroom.
Those are big numbers. I know they will shake out over the first few weeks of school. Having class sizes under 25 is great. Having around 20 is ideal for me.
The other surprise is I am in a new classroom. Some would think that is no big deal. In the grand schemes of things, it is not. Its just a change I prefer not to have to make. I love my class location from last year. I was on a diverse hall. There's the deaf and hearing impaired class, an English class, business classes, video class, engineering classes, food and nutrition class, and the early childhood room. I interacted with these teachers all the time. Its the small things that made this location perfect for me. I was able to dash to the bathroom in the early childhood room that was next door. I talked basketball with a coach during class changes. The custodians spoiled me with making sure I eat in the morning and have my hot chocolate. There is a copier in between the business classes. So I am able to make quick copies or send my students to make quick copies. The biggest adjustment is having lunch in the middle of a class period. Now I will loose all of it with my room change.
On the flip side, I am on the same hall as the rest of the math teachers. So, I will be able to talk shop in between bells. We can easily check to see if a common lesson is working in other classes and periods. I am able to have lunch with my department and my favorite lunch partner. In addition, I am right across from our graduation coach. So I am able to send students there to complete tests or assignments or take a mental break if needed.
Before the year start, I need to analyze my data from last year and set some personal goals. Also, I need to gather my stuff I plan to take back into the new classroom. Overall, I am excited to see what new things I will embark with my new babies. I plan to continue to check on my old babies too.
Now it is time for me to pull out my sale papers to go school shopping!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Random Thoughts
Its the weeeeekend Baby!! Nothing too much but everything is going on. Just some of my random thoughts
- This is my last weekend before I return to work. I am going back a week before I initially thought. Because I started in the middle of the school year, I did not attend the new (to the county) teacher training. So, summer is officially over :(
- I have not finished reading any books this summer. I thought I would read at least 5. I really need to work on that. I have started 4 different books. I just need to step away from FB, Twitter, and Tivo.
- Finally, I started working out yesterday. It was not too bad. I am just a little sore. But if I was not, then what did I accomplished?
- This is the last basketball tourney this weekend before the boys are off to Orlando. Then I get my weekends back! YAY!!!
- I completed some items on my to-do list yesterday. I need to knock out the rest today.
- Couponing! I need to cut and organize my coupons and start strategizing for back to school supplies. Not only do I need to restock Baby Bandit's school supply stash, I need to plan for the approximately 130 students. So that is extra pencils, paper, protractors, and calculators.
- I want to determine what books I want to have in my classroom library. I like to keep a few books (not math related) the kids can pick up and thumb through. They love my motivational minute book. I need to find a few more of them.
- I have gained too much weight this summer. Two months later, I can't fit comfortably in my school/work clothes. I refuse to buy any either!
- I need to finish paying off this month's bills and start my ZBB - zero base budget for August.
- I plan to tackle the garage in the next week. Most of the stuff thrown in there are things going back into my classroom.
- I just received information for Sporty Girl Fitness Reality TV Casting Call. Some people may get offended but I see it as love. The person who sent it knows I need motivation to get this weight off. I hope I did not sign up too late.
Now it is time for me to handle my business. What's on your mind?
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
New Year Resolutions - Bandit's Style
Most people make resolutions in January. I am not a fan of resolutions. I make a list and a plan. Write it down and make it happen. I know too many people who make a resolution on Jan 1st and could not tell you what it was by Jan 31st. Since my birthday is in June, I like using Jan and June as my reflection/review time. Similar to a job. It is a gauge as to where I am.
The last few years have been many changes but at the same time so many things have been the same. I know over the next few weeks, I am going to continue to reflect on what changes I want to make, accomplishments I want to achieve and what things I want to keep the same.
1. Weight loss/exercising - At the top of my list is getting my weight down. My doctor wants me to lose 35 lbs. I want to lose about 50 lbs. Unfortunately, my want is not strong enough for me to get started. I do not have any excuses. Need to be like Nike and JUST DO IT!!
2. Reading - Since starting school, I stop reading for leisure and personal growth. I desperately need to pick up a book. I use to be in a large book club but I quit once school started. I would like to join a new one.
3. Reducing expenses - Since becoming a school teacher, my income has decrease significantly. I have to reduce my regular expenses. I don't know when was the last time I created a monthly budget. It should be easier since I only get paid once a month. There is no question what pay check it is coming out of because I only have one.
In addition, I need to find a part-time. I want to use the P/T to rebuild my emergency fund, pay down debt and for my summer trip next year and start paying on the student loans I accrued with the last degree.
4. Organization - I need to get organized. When my house, car, room is in disarray, it is a direct correlation to my life being out of sync. In fact, I can not sleep in my room if it is out of order. Its like the mess interferes with my rest. I will sleep in another room before sleeping in a cluttered room.
I think this is enough for me to work on for the rest of the year. Hopefully, I will see much progress I make by Dec 31st.
The last few years have been many changes but at the same time so many things have been the same. I know over the next few weeks, I am going to continue to reflect on what changes I want to make, accomplishments I want to achieve and what things I want to keep the same.
1. Weight loss/exercising - At the top of my list is getting my weight down. My doctor wants me to lose 35 lbs. I want to lose about 50 lbs. Unfortunately, my want is not strong enough for me to get started. I do not have any excuses. Need to be like Nike and JUST DO IT!!
2. Reading - Since starting school, I stop reading for leisure and personal growth. I desperately need to pick up a book. I use to be in a large book club but I quit once school started. I would like to join a new one.
3. Reducing expenses - Since becoming a school teacher, my income has decrease significantly. I have to reduce my regular expenses. I don't know when was the last time I created a monthly budget. It should be easier since I only get paid once a month. There is no question what pay check it is coming out of because I only have one.
In addition, I need to find a part-time. I want to use the P/T to rebuild my emergency fund, pay down debt and for my summer trip next year and start paying on the student loans I accrued with the last degree.
4. Organization - I need to get organized. When my house, car, room is in disarray, it is a direct correlation to my life being out of sync. In fact, I can not sleep in my room if it is out of order. Its like the mess interferes with my rest. I will sleep in another room before sleeping in a cluttered room.
I think this is enough for me to work on for the rest of the year. Hopefully, I will see much progress I make by Dec 31st.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Supportive Friends
It is said if you can count your friends on one hand, you are blessed. Well, I know I am truly blessed! I have some of the best friends. I have known some for only a few years and others since childhood. They come from all walks of life and have different roles in my life.
A true friend deposits into you and you into them. I am only going to share what their friendships mean to me. Trust and believe my friends are very important to me, even though I am perceived by some as not the warm and fuzzy type. My friendships make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Initially, I started writing about people individually, but after I started writing, more and more people came to mind. So, I decided to write about groups of people in some instances. They embodied the same characteristics and/or feelings in me. Follow me....good!
Temba - Temba means trust, hope, and faith. This name was one of the line names I was given when pledging Delta. This meaning of the name exemplifies what my line sisters/sands mean to me. SN: My line number is 5, which means grace. So I exemplify trust, hope, faith and grace. I like that! These ladies are so diverse and each are special to me in her own way. We have shared hopes, dreams, fears, and worries. Even though many miles separate some of us, we are able to talk on the phone, send texts, or chat on Facebook. I have communicated with three different line sisters this week alone by each method.
Just the other day, I talked to one on the phone for over an hour. We took the time to really catch up on what was going on in each other lives. We talked about our bucket lists, vision boards, children, health, jobs, growing from young ladies to full grown women with families, old dreams, new dreams, desires, and accomplishments. It was as if we are sitting back in the dorms.
It is amazing to see how we have grown and changed but know that our core is still the same. Like blood sisters, we argue, fuss and fight, but we are their for each other AND will not let anyone else mess with the other. We have accomplished small and big things but nothing erases our realness as women and sisters.
Book Club Sistahs - The love of books is what brought us together. I thought I would meet with these ladies for a few hours once a month to discuss a book then go about my business. I soon realize this group of women were so much more that your average book club. There were so many sub groups, such as a financial group, a community service group, a journal writing group and a few others. I quickly had a new group of ladies to share and hang out with. Even though I could not give the book club the time it needed, I have gained some really good friends in the process. We have taken trips across the country and retreats in the mountains.
Like my sorors, there are ladies in this group I can share anything. Two of them are LadyLee and Rae Rae. Lee is one of the least judgmental people I know. Oh, and so quiet! She sits back and observe. However, you make it into her circle, you are the blessed one. Lee is super smart (even though she keeps it under wraps). If she considers you a friend, she will find ways to put a smile on your face. We have shared sermon notes, financial goals and affirmations, vision boards, and her wonderful blog. I learn so much from her! She has made it to Baby Bandit's games and gives words of encouragement to him (with her famous cookies). More than anything, she has a heart of gold.
Rae Rae is really our refine, proper, Ms Manners' friend. Now, don't go thinking she is stuffy because she is not. Her momma just raised her right..LOL. Rae will give (and have given) her last to others, even if it is detrimental to her. (Yeah, I am still working with her on that issue). I remember clearly when I really opened up to her about who I really am. We had been friends for awhile. We were on a joint book club meeting in San Diego. We were just hanging out on our own bootleg tour of the city. We wanted to explore different things than most of the group. Both of us believe one monkey does not stop the show. So we let them go their way and we went ours. Since her husband is of Latin descent, she wanted to explore the Latin culture as well. We had a ball just sightseeing, shopping, and sharing. During that trip, we went pass the superficial layer of friendships most of us have with most people.
Serenity - I "met" Serenity through LadyLee. In many conversations, she would mention this lady in Charlotte. She admired her determination to set goals and tackle her. Like LadyLee, Serenity has a blog. I started following her blog faithfully...just like Lee's. I was the official keeper of their blogs. If they did not post in a couple of days, I send a friendly email asking about it. Serenity's blog allowed me to get to know her better. Lee tease us all the time saying Serenity is her friend not mine. However, she is also a soror, which means we are instant friends and sisters. (Now what, Lee?) Serenity have alot in common. Other than Delta, we are both single mothers raising boys, worked in the insurance industry and actually the same company, moved hundreds of miles from our family, and constantly striving and achieving. I remember Serenity asking me to do a guest post when a bunch of her blog friends decided to work through Michelle Singletary's book, Power to Prosper. Through our frienship established through her blog (and later email and calls), she knew just what day I needed to blog. Whenever we finally meet in person, I know we will chat like old friends.
Twin - We have been friends since childhood. We were in Catholic schools together and enjoyed some many memories together. She has all of my teenage secrets and know where all the bodies are buried...LOL. She has been there through many firsts - 1st basketball team, 1st boyfriend, 1st drink, 1st car, 1st heartbreak, 1st home, 1st curfew violation, and some many things I am not revealing in black and white! We did almost everything together as teenagers! Since my sisters were younger, Twin was my sister! We did everything together. We were together so much she had her own room at my house! However, most of the time we were in the same
I remember a time when we got into so much trouble in 9th grade, the school had us seeing the counselor once a week. We would sit and plot the stories we were going to tell her. Our "troubled ways" were being talkative and opinionated. The school was not use to little Black girls not being afraid to express ourselves anytime we felt the need. The funny thing is our "troubled ways" only caused us to get an occasional detention. We were never suspended or even being expelled. Today's teachers would love for us to be their biggest problem. Academically, I was at the top of the class. I was 1 of only 2 Black students in all honor classes and was an A student. I just very talkative and hated wearing regular shoes with the uniforms. I thought my tennis shoes were quite appropriate with the green uniform skirt!
We don't see or talk to each other nearly as much as we want to But when we do, it is as if we never missed a beat! Every time I go home, we talk for hours like teenagers again. Even though we live hundreds of miles apart and do not get to see each other nearly as much as we want, she is never far from my heart.
I have one thing in common with all of my friends: I got your back no matter what. You are never alone in this world.
A true friend deposits into you and you into them. I am only going to share what their friendships mean to me. Trust and believe my friends are very important to me, even though I am perceived by some as not the warm and fuzzy type. My friendships make me feel all warm and fuzzy. Initially, I started writing about people individually, but after I started writing, more and more people came to mind. So, I decided to write about groups of people in some instances. They embodied the same characteristics and/or feelings in me. Follow me....good!
Temba - Temba means trust, hope, and faith. This name was one of the line names I was given when pledging Delta. This meaning of the name exemplifies what my line sisters/sands mean to me. SN: My line number is 5, which means grace. So I exemplify trust, hope, faith and grace. I like that! These ladies are so diverse and each are special to me in her own way. We have shared hopes, dreams, fears, and worries. Even though many miles separate some of us, we are able to talk on the phone, send texts, or chat on Facebook. I have communicated with three different line sisters this week alone by each method.
Just the other day, I talked to one on the phone for over an hour. We took the time to really catch up on what was going on in each other lives. We talked about our bucket lists, vision boards, children, health, jobs, growing from young ladies to full grown women with families, old dreams, new dreams, desires, and accomplishments. It was as if we are sitting back in the dorms.
It is amazing to see how we have grown and changed but know that our core is still the same. Like blood sisters, we argue, fuss and fight, but we are their for each other AND will not let anyone else mess with the other. We have accomplished small and big things but nothing erases our realness as women and sisters.
 |
| Gamma Zeta sorors Spring 95 and our President and DP |
Book Club Sistahs - The love of books is what brought us together. I thought I would meet with these ladies for a few hours once a month to discuss a book then go about my business. I soon realize this group of women were so much more that your average book club. There were so many sub groups, such as a financial group, a community service group, a journal writing group and a few others. I quickly had a new group of ladies to share and hang out with. Even though I could not give the book club the time it needed, I have gained some really good friends in the process. We have taken trips across the country and retreats in the mountains.
Like my sorors, there are ladies in this group I can share anything. Two of them are LadyLee and Rae Rae. Lee is one of the least judgmental people I know. Oh, and so quiet! She sits back and observe. However, you make it into her circle, you are the blessed one. Lee is super smart (even though she keeps it under wraps). If she considers you a friend, she will find ways to put a smile on your face. We have shared sermon notes, financial goals and affirmations, vision boards, and her wonderful blog. I learn so much from her! She has made it to Baby Bandit's games and gives words of encouragement to him (with her famous cookies). More than anything, she has a heart of gold.
Rae Rae is really our refine, proper, Ms Manners' friend. Now, don't go thinking she is stuffy because she is not. Her momma just raised her right..LOL. Rae will give (and have given) her last to others, even if it is detrimental to her. (Yeah, I am still working with her on that issue). I remember clearly when I really opened up to her about who I really am. We had been friends for awhile. We were on a joint book club meeting in San Diego. We were just hanging out on our own bootleg tour of the city. We wanted to explore different things than most of the group. Both of us believe one monkey does not stop the show. So we let them go their way and we went ours. Since her husband is of Latin descent, she wanted to explore the Latin culture as well. We had a ball just sightseeing, shopping, and sharing. During that trip, we went pass the superficial layer of friendships most of us have with most people.
 |
| Cathedral in San Diego |
 |
| Some members Circle of Friends II Book Club at Joint Meeting in San Diego |
 |
| Wall Art in San Diego |
Serenity - I "met" Serenity through LadyLee. In many conversations, she would mention this lady in Charlotte. She admired her determination to set goals and tackle her. Like LadyLee, Serenity has a blog. I started following her blog faithfully...just like Lee's. I was the official keeper of their blogs. If they did not post in a couple of days, I send a friendly email asking about it. Serenity's blog allowed me to get to know her better. Lee tease us all the time saying Serenity is her friend not mine. However, she is also a soror, which means we are instant friends and sisters. (Now what, Lee?) Serenity have alot in common. Other than Delta, we are both single mothers raising boys, worked in the insurance industry and actually the same company, moved hundreds of miles from our family, and constantly striving and achieving. I remember Serenity asking me to do a guest post when a bunch of her blog friends decided to work through Michelle Singletary's book, Power to Prosper. Through our frienship established through her blog (and later email and calls), she knew just what day I needed to blog. Whenever we finally meet in person, I know we will chat like old friends.
Twin - We have been friends since childhood. We were in Catholic schools together and enjoyed some many memories together. She has all of my teenage secrets and know where all the bodies are buried...LOL. She has been there through many firsts - 1st basketball team, 1st boyfriend, 1st drink, 1st car, 1st heartbreak, 1st home, 1st curfew violation, and some many things I am not revealing in black and white! We did almost everything together as teenagers! Since my sisters were younger, Twin was my sister! We did everything together. We were together so much she had her own room at my house! However, most of the time we were in the same
I remember a time when we got into so much trouble in 9th grade, the school had us seeing the counselor once a week. We would sit and plot the stories we were going to tell her. Our "troubled ways" were being talkative and opinionated. The school was not use to little Black girls not being afraid to express ourselves anytime we felt the need. The funny thing is our "troubled ways" only caused us to get an occasional detention. We were never suspended or even being expelled. Today's teachers would love for us to be their biggest problem. Academically, I was at the top of the class. I was 1 of only 2 Black students in all honor classes and was an A student. I just very talkative and hated wearing regular shoes with the uniforms. I thought my tennis shoes were quite appropriate with the green uniform skirt!
We don't see or talk to each other nearly as much as we want to But when we do, it is as if we never missed a beat! Every time I go home, we talk for hours like teenagers again. Even though we live hundreds of miles apart and do not get to see each other nearly as much as we want, she is never far from my heart.
I have one thing in common with all of my friends: I got your back no matter what. You are never alone in this world.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Dating and Courting
Dating and courting. Is there a difference or is it the same thing? For many people the words are interchangeable. Courting is not a word I use often but I believe there's a difference between the two words.
Dating - initial stage of getting to know one another. This consists of verbal conversations (not texting, emailing, or IMing as the major form of communication). In addition, quality time is spent doing activities together. This phase is not necessarily exclusive to one person.
Courting - During the courting stage, the relationship is exclusive. At this point, the two individuals are committed to determining if they will have a long term relationship, in many cases potentially leading to marriage.
Now these are my personal definitions. I do not require anyone to accept my definitions. However, I do expect any potential mates to understand my definitions. I think part of the problem with dating is people do not express their definitions and expectations. Then we are upset, mad, etc because the other person should have known. I am not saying divulge everything on day one, but healthy and necessary conversations are in order.
With all that being said, I really have never dated. I usually start spending time with one person and it goes straight to courting. In my 20 years of adult life, I have had three dating/courting relationships. These relationships lasted over 12 years.
The rest of my adult life included limited dating. I can admit part of it is me. I am old fashion. Therefore, I am not approaching a man. Over the years, I have admired men closely and from afar. However, I will not volunteer my attraction or desire to possibly pursue something more. In return, most of them have fallen into **cue the Twilight Zone music** the "Friend Zone".
Another reason I have been told over the years is people think I am in a relationship or married. I don't wear a ring on my left ring finger ever. So I don't see why one would think I am married. I know many people do not wear a ring, but most married women do and I would if I was married. I have been told I act like I am in a relationship. What does that mean? Cause I don't drool or chase after any available man? Not too sure on that one. Is it because I keep busy with all the other wonderful things I have going on in my life, such as my son, friends, family, work, and hobbies?
I have decided I am ready to actively date. I am still not sure how to just get out there and do it. However, I am open to seeing what this adventure will look like.
With all that being said, I really have never dated. I usually start spending time with one person and it goes straight to courting. In my 20 years of adult life, I have had three dating/courting relationships. These relationships lasted over 12 years.
The rest of my adult life included limited dating. I can admit part of it is me. I am old fashion. Therefore, I am not approaching a man. Over the years, I have admired men closely and from afar. However, I will not volunteer my attraction or desire to possibly pursue something more. In return, most of them have fallen into **cue the Twilight Zone music** the "Friend Zone".
Another reason I have been told over the years is people think I am in a relationship or married. I don't wear a ring on my left ring finger ever. So I don't see why one would think I am married. I know many people do not wear a ring, but most married women do and I would if I was married. I have been told I act like I am in a relationship. What does that mean? Cause I don't drool or chase after any available man? Not too sure on that one. Is it because I keep busy with all the other wonderful things I have going on in my life, such as my son, friends, family, work, and hobbies?
I have decided I am ready to actively date. I am still not sure how to just get out there and do it. However, I am open to seeing what this adventure will look like.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
All We Have is Today
As you all know, I am new to writing a blog, but I have been reading many of them for years. I read one this morning that really resonated with me and my Soror Kiesha was gracious enough to allow me to share it with you. Check it out here.
My reflections: In a nut shell, live life to the fullest. Don't think you have another time to get it right or do it. I know several people who have lost multiple love ones in less than a year's time. I was in a book club for a few years. We lost two wonderful, caring, loving life sisters. Karen and Kita were women you wanted in your corner. I miss them dearly even though I don't talk about it much.
The post was so timely because many of her thoughts were my recent thoughts. If you are convicted with this post, take the steps to make it happen.
My reflections: In a nut shell, live life to the fullest. Don't think you have another time to get it right or do it. I know several people who have lost multiple love ones in less than a year's time. I was in a book club for a few years. We lost two wonderful, caring, loving life sisters. Karen and Kita were women you wanted in your corner. I miss them dearly even though I don't talk about it much.
The post was so timely because many of her thoughts were my recent thoughts. If you are convicted with this post, take the steps to make it happen.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Weekend Adventures - Saturday
I received a call on Friday from one of my friends. He was coming in town for a few hours on Saturday and was going to the gun range. He was checking my schedule to see if I wanted to go with him on Saturday morning.
Background info: There was a home invasion on my street earlier this year. I talked to my friend that same day. He asked me if I owned a gun or ever shot one. When I told him no, he stated he would take me to the range to see if I was comfortable with one. If I am and want to purchase a gun, he would help me with it too. That conversation was back in February or early March. He has not been back here since that time. So he made sure he called me on his next visit. I love when a person keeps his or her word!
I knew where I was going but I was still curious. I guess it comes with the unknown and my ability to succeed in the unknown. My friend use to shoot at this range many times before he moved away. He made me feel very comfortable with the whole process. Since I was a newbie, I had to watch a safety video. While I was watching it, he took care of getting me the gear (eye and ear protection) I needed and the targets. He brought his own gun and ammo for us to use.
Once inside the range, he took his time explaining to me about the gun. He showed me how to hold it, where's the safety, insert the bullets into the clip, and how to load it. The hardest part was inserting the bullets into the clip. I eventually got the hang of it. We took turns shooting at our targets. I must say I did pretty good for my first time! I found me a new hobby!
Several people asked me who I was about to kill or why go to the range. Honestly, it is something I thought about doing for years but never got around to it. Since my friend asked me to go, I was definitely taking him up on the opportunity.
I love the whole experience. I am going again. Several people have expressed a desire to go. My friend and I have agreed to go again as well. He even found out the place has Women's Day every Wednesday for a discounted rate.
Here are my targets! Based on them, I need to practice on my low and high shots. However, I am on point with the center shots! So for now I will only focus on center mass shots versus wounding a leg if someone tries to run up on me...LOL
After the range, I came home to relax until my evening plans with some of my girls. We plan to create another masterpiece at canvasbyu.com. The painting scheduled for the night was Diva in Pearls. Of course, we change the name. This outing is part of my birthday celebration. (Remember I am celebrating for a month). Gadget Girl (GG), Tinkerbell, and Dancing Diva (DD) were out with me again. In addition, Isis and Up N Out were part of the celebration. Most of us did our last painting earlier this year during our Deltaversary celebration. This is a great outing for ladies night out, bonding with your children, or even a date night. One of my friends in another city is planning a date night at a studio in her city.
Background info: There was a home invasion on my street earlier this year. I talked to my friend that same day. He asked me if I owned a gun or ever shot one. When I told him no, he stated he would take me to the range to see if I was comfortable with one. If I am and want to purchase a gun, he would help me with it too. That conversation was back in February or early March. He has not been back here since that time. So he made sure he called me on his next visit. I love when a person keeps his or her word!
I knew where I was going but I was still curious. I guess it comes with the unknown and my ability to succeed in the unknown. My friend use to shoot at this range many times before he moved away. He made me feel very comfortable with the whole process. Since I was a newbie, I had to watch a safety video. While I was watching it, he took care of getting me the gear (eye and ear protection) I needed and the targets. He brought his own gun and ammo for us to use.
Once inside the range, he took his time explaining to me about the gun. He showed me how to hold it, where's the safety, insert the bullets into the clip, and how to load it. The hardest part was inserting the bullets into the clip. I eventually got the hang of it. We took turns shooting at our targets. I must say I did pretty good for my first time! I found me a new hobby!
Several people asked me who I was about to kill or why go to the range. Honestly, it is something I thought about doing for years but never got around to it. Since my friend asked me to go, I was definitely taking him up on the opportunity.
I love the whole experience. I am going again. Several people have expressed a desire to go. My friend and I have agreed to go again as well. He even found out the place has Women's Day every Wednesday for a discounted rate.
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| 1st target |
 | |||||
| 2nd target |
After the range, I came home to relax until my evening plans with some of my girls. We plan to create another masterpiece at canvasbyu.com. The painting scheduled for the night was Diva in Pearls. Of course, we change the name. This outing is part of my birthday celebration. (Remember I am celebrating for a month). Gadget Girl (GG), Tinkerbell, and Dancing Diva (DD) were out with me again. In addition, Isis and Up N Out were part of the celebration. Most of us did our last painting earlier this year during our Deltaversary celebration. This is a great outing for ladies night out, bonding with your children, or even a date night. One of my friends in another city is planning a date night at a studio in her city.
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| Group picture of us with our Masterpieces |
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| Green Eyed Bandit with Delta Diva in Pearls |
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| Isis(The Professional) with Goldie in Pearls |
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| Tinkerbell showing off her Diva |
 | |
| DD adding the finishing touches to her pearls |
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| Up N Out working hard to perfect the masterpiece |
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