Tuesday, May 3, 2016

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I said I was going to do better. I know one day I will slow down and take the time to reflect AND write/type what I am feeling. ONE DAY. I love going back to read old blogs and remember what I was feeling at that time.

2. Someone tried to steal my Man-Child's identity. The crazy thing is I thought about telling him to run his credit about a month ago. Yesterday, I (meaning he) received a letter in the mail stating someone tried to file a tax return using his name. Well, obviously, the person wasn't that smart. They didn't use his correct government name. He will request all credit reports. This will be a great lesson on credit watching, credit building, and identity theft.

3. Its testing season in Georgia. Well I guess all over the country. This week is testing for my school. It is sure is different from testing in my old county. I am just going to leave it at that comment.

4. I need to get to writing my chapters in a book I am co-authoring with one of my college friends. We have already decided on the chapters of our book. We just need to write! This man has a great mind for money and business. We are writing a book geared to recent high school graduates and college students. When I get a goal, it is imperative for me to create a vision board to remind myself of my goals and dreams. Here is the vision board for the book.


5. Summer school and the next school year are heavily on my mind. I really want to see growth in the teachers I am coaching. This is by far the biggest impact and resource on our students. A great teacher can literally change or elevate the trajectory of a child. Of course I created a vision board for that as well!


6. I have a massive headache. This is the 2nd one in a week. I think its sinus related. I notice if I am not consistent with allergy medicine during this time of year, I have issues. This is the 1st year that my issues have been a headache though. It reminded me to take my medicine though! 

7. My guys have decided to spend the summer in Birmingham to work, workout, and take a class or two. They are entering their last full year of college. If I am honest, I feel some kind of way about it. I thought I would get to hang out with my guys this summer. I guess they are really (semi)grown. 

I know they don't look grown in this picture. They were clowning at their track meet that was local. I went and hung out with them for the day. 

8. The Detroit teachers had a blue out yesterday. They are protesting because their school district stated they ran out of money to pay them. I need to read more on this matter. I am confused how that happens. I know they have unions in the North as well. This is not good for all involved. 

9. I am in another challenge. Hopefully, I will be able to finish this one! Its 100 days of happiness. The premise is simple. We are responsible for our own happiness; therefore, we should find some happiness daily. Even when you are having a bad day, there is at least 1 thing that made you smile or brighten your day. Today is day 3. I am looking for the opportunity. 

10. Speaking of challenges, I need to get back posting my daily gratitude posts. I think I have NOT posted more than I have. Because I am a overcoming procrastinator and perfectionist, I don't post daily cause I don't have the right pictures or my words are not elaborate enough to post. I have to get pass my hangups and celebrate my friends while they are here. I like "giving flowers to the living."

Welp, that's it for now. Maybe I will post again before the month ends. 

Sunday, February 14, 2016

“DON’T DATE SINGLE MOTHERS AND DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THEM” Part 1 Rebuttal

This article was posted in one of my groups in FB. Usually, I would read and just shake my head. However, I could not get past this one. Maybe because I think there is a huge difference between being a single mother and being a baby mama. Some don't see a difference. I do. This was the case way before I even became a single mother.

When I read the article, I immediately started writing a rebuttal in the comment section. However, I was breaking one of my FB rules, "No blogging in the comment section." So since I didn't want to break my rule. I made a simple comment, "I don't agree and I will blog about it."

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.

I wouldn't say "never available" but I would say she schedules her time, especially free time, more than most. Her ability to be spontaneous is limited to honoring her schedule with the needs and wants of her children. If she has children who are active in extra curricular activities, practices, games, meets, meetings, etc that carve into her limited time, then she has LIMITED availability not NO availability. That should not discredit her desire to spend time with you. It causes you all to be creative on when you can spend time together. You may have to meet while the children are at practice for a walk around the park or a cup of coffee at the nearby bookstore or coffee shop. She may only have about an hour to carve out during the week. Capitalize on her free other weekend when the children are with their father. If something is wrong  (sick, some major problem) with her children is the main reason she will cancel dates (not see you) at the last minute. If she is exhausted from her week, then she would suggest doing something at home versus going out to spend time with you.

2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.

You are not the FIRST priority but you are a priority IF you are in a relationship. I think the author was exaggerating a bit with being a priority behind "the kitchen sink and the stopped up toilet"; however, if not, then a man can assist/help/fix that problem. Men love to solve problems. These are simple problems/priorities to fix to eliminate you feeling like you are not a priority. Here's an added benefit. She will feel like a priority TO you if you help her with her other priorities. Many women are interested in you will do what they can to be with you. However, they have to make sure their children are good. How would you feel if she is spending time with you and there are things she is neglecting to make her life and her children's life comfortable? If she becomes your wife, she will have this same logic or trait in your daily combined world.

3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.

This is soooooooo far from the truth! She does not EXPECT you to drop EVERYTHING but she does expect you to understand her time is limited. Read #1. If you want more time, just understand it will include family time because she is a package deal. I know many women who do not bring random men around her children. So if you are not solidified as a couple, she will probably limit your time around her children anyway. Again, see #1. She will probably expect you to be more flexible with your time if you do not have physical custody or share physical custody of your children.

4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.
In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.
Ummm....yeah if she is holding a torch for her children's father, then yeah that's a problem. If the children are young, I would even say you need to make sure she is emotionally over him. This is true with any women whether she has children or not. Heck, it's true for men as well. I think everyone should take a break before jumping into a new relationship. Everyone need time to purge the old love from his or her system. Take time to deal with the baggage that comes from a failed relationship or marriage. Don't think that time alone heals the pain. Time with dealing with the baggage makes a person ready to move one.

5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.
Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.
For some that is the case, especially if they have not dealt with their baggage. However, I have noticed this is not the case when both parties have truly moved on. Normally, when the woman without any shadow of a doubt that she is done with her child(ren)'s father(s), then this is not a situation that is not easily handled. For the child sake, I would hope the dad is around to co-parent their child but that should be the extent of their relationship. Is that a reality? Absolutely! I have lived it and watched others do it as well.

There were 15 things on the list. I will continue the other 10 in future posts. I didn't want to make this post extremely long. The original article was long by itself. 

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I really need to blog more. I have ideas but either I don't have the time or think I can't expand on it long enough for a decent blog.

2. I am loving my Grateful366 campaign. I have several friends who have taken the challenge of posting a gratitude dedicated to someone for the entire year.

3. My new gig is INTERESTING. There is a lot of adjustment on my part and theirs. I literally have a 3 page to-do list from the state liaison to get us where we need to be. I keep saying "baby steps, baby steps" and "As long as there is some progress, then its progress."

4. My chants from #3 did not work for me yesterday. Today WILL be a better day.

5. Since my day was not pleasant yesterday, I took my happiness into my own hands and started creating and gathering pictures and quotes for my 2 newest vision boards.

6. Speaking of vision boards, I created a new on Sunday. Southern Belle invited me to the country to work on them with some of her family and friends. We had a great time!




 7. My shirt got a lot of love! Hopefully, my friends will support Gimme a Bling and purchase this one or others. She does quality work and none of her shirts have messy or negative sayings.

8. The month of January went by pretty fast. I don't know if that means I am getting old or I am enjoying my days. I am going to go with option 2. 

9. This year's theme at church is "Dream Again". As confirmation, several of my friends have reignited our group to push some of our dreams. I will help a friend with his dream/goal of writing a book. I am hashing out the plans for an adventure as well. (Vision boards are in progress for each)

10. I think the "10 Thoughts Posts" are becoming a routine around these parts. They are quick to do. 

Monday, December 14, 2015

Living in One of my Purposes (in Pictures)

Many people feel they don't know what is their purpose. I have struggled with it. I would venture to say that we have more than one purpose here on this place we call Earth. I know one of my purposes is to be an educator. I have been an educator wayyyyyyyyyy before I stepped into the classroom. I know that sounds crazy. SO let me explain. I have been educating/teaching people on different things for as long as I can remember.

In my opinion, teaching is more than just a job. It is who you are. It is in your bones, your spirit, your heart. No matter how much my students fight me on learning, I still keep coming back for more. It is so worth it when they finally get it. When I see the "light bulb" go off, it makes my heart smiles. Sometimes I am more excited about it than them.





I love this picture above. I have made it my profile picture on Facebook several times. It is a representation of what I love to do. TEACH! And support my babies. If you look closely, I am wearing " I wear for Tiana" Tee. Tiana is one of my Delta nieces that overcame childhood bone cancer. She is our Princess Warrior. Her journey was such a testimony to her strength and the foundation of love, strength, grace and so much more that her parents (and village) deposited into her.


This dude right here. He is dubbed as my favorite by the kids. Probably because I kept him out of so much trouble and let him get away with so much. Look at him. He is a runt! I don't even have on heels and I am looking down on him. This picture was taken when he was a freshman. He is now a junior and taller than me. He always says "This is OUR room! They better fall in line!"


These ladies are part of the DHS "Mighty Math Department." I would put up the team of teachers I had when I started there against any math department anywhere. These ladies were more than coworkers; they became my friends. This is from the night where senior football players had their favorite teachers wear their jerseys. I wasn't even working there anymore, but one of my babies requested them to call me and ask me to come and wear his jerseys. This is when you know what you do matters. They don't have to be the perfect student or child, but it still matters that you care and deposited into them. Man, I love reaching the next generation.


These are some of my original babies catching the action from a football game. To this day, they check in with me and make sure they spend some time with me when they are home from break. I never even taught the one on the far right. I think they have given me more than I have even given them. They let us know it is well worth what we do! 

Signing Day! 
Signing Day! 

These are a couple of pictures from Signing Day at my last school. I can't say enough great things about the coaches for the girl's basketball program. They do so much for the girls that they call them "Our 2 dads." They mentor, teach, counsel, give tough love, feed, transport, and anything else they need. They are constantly exposing them to opportunities and experiences outside of their school and neighborhood. One of the coaches is a community coach and gives his time freely. I mean a lot of time. He will even pop up and sit in classes if any of the girls are cutting up in a class. 

The coaches (and now even me since I am part of the coaching staff) can get the girls to open up about almost anything. I am sure we know more stuff about them then their parents. Since we have this awesome responsibility, we make sure we are advising them as we would our own children.  

The 2 seniors signing did not have any schools looking at them before the season started. One of the young ladies didn't even play until January due to an ACL injury. Both received full rides to college. 

Now, this is my baby boy!!!!  I think this kid started calling me "Ma-muh" before he got off of my roster. Once the teachers and staff realized he was one of my extra sons, they did not hesitate to call on me when needed. I was even added as an emergency contact. I use him as an example at the beginning of every semester and throughout the school year when needed. I told them, "If I let my baby boy earn a sit in summer school, what do you think I will let you earn?!"


This simple gesture was a gift from a student. No reason other than to show appreciation to me. Most teachers are like me. A simple card, note, or token of appreciation is the fuel we need to keep going. It is a reminder that what we do does matter.


One of my babies. I see so much potential in her. Her mom has allowed me to spend time with her outside of school. We have gone to church, shopping, and vision board parties. I listen to her dreams and fears. Give her advice and hugs when needed. Most of all, I am just there for her.

One of my peers nominated me for Teacher of the Month. It was an honor for my colleagues to see the extra miles I go for my kids. Yes, I say they are my kids, cause that is exactly how I treat them. Like a parent, they know they better not show out in front of company (visitors who may visit) or with a substitute. We can have fun, joke, and get loose. BUT you will NOT show out unless you want ME TO SHOW OUT,


This collage above is a snapshot of what I meant that our coaches are expanding our children's thinking. We had a state playoff game about 3 hours away. Instead of leaving early the day of the game, we left the evening before the game. Instead of practicing at the school, coach made arrangements for the girls to practice at one of the local colleges. Subconsciously, he was planting the seed for them to play on the next level which means going to college. For some, they hadn't thought about what's next after high school. Again, planting seeds! Now we are watering, pruning, and growing our little flowers for the next phase of their lives.

These young ladies are my "daughters". You would not believe how many students come by to confirm they belong to me. I even heard students argue each other down about them being my daughters. I just laugh. At least they are using their reasoning skills outside of my class. LOL!


Even on my Founder's Day, I am putting in work for my babies. This is from one of our games which was on January 13th. Still represented for my sorority while working.







I truly believe I am charged with teaching/educating the whole student. I just don't teach math. I teach life and life skills. I took a couple of days with a class to create vision boards. They cut, drew, wrote their life goals after high school. It was the 1st time for many to think pass today. We took time to reflect on whether their actions of today will assist them in reaching their goals/dreams of the future.





They did it! They finally wore me down. I will now tolerate girls long term....LOL!!!! For those who know me, I prefer to have a class of all or mainly all boys over girls any day. I know I can work a nerve because I require you to give me more than you want to give. Girls tend to hold on to grudges for-ev-ah! Boys get their feelings hurt and are over it later that day or the next. These girls though. They got my heart (and usually my phone for selfies and us-ies).



And at the end of the day, I just want them to be Super Stars in their lives. 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

10 Thursday Thoughts

I've been wanting to blog for at least a week, but couldn't come up with anything that I thought was long enough to blog about OR I didn't have enough time to sit and get all of my thoughts out at one sitting. SO here we go..................

1. I was in AP training a couple of weeks ago to allow me to teach AP Statistics next school year. Picking this particular class had several blessings in them:

  • I was excused from post planning at school,
  • the instructor's class description stated he will give us his lesson plans, tests, assignments, and tips,
  • the site feeds us too well (if you know me, you know I love to eat), and
  • and the surprise bonus: my county just adopted the instructor's book as our book!!!!

2. The Man-Child has finished his second year of college. I think this year has been more challenging this year than the first year. He has grown quite a bit and made some mistakes. The blessing is he is learning from those mistakes and making the necessary changes. One of the lessons he is mastering is asking for help. I am not sure if that is a pride thing or a smart kid defect, but he knows his village is here to guide him to look at many options and make the best decision. 

3. I started this blog as as 10 Thought Thursday about 3 weeks ago while I was in class. Apparently, I got side tracked cause I am just getting to it today.

4. Man-Child and I both celebrated a birthday last week. This was the first time he was not with me for his birthday. I guess that means he is (almost) grown. My motto, "As long as you are dependent for any of your bills, then you are not grown." He spent his birthday in class and lifting weights. He will be home for less than a week. We will celebrate when he gets home.

I guess this is what you look like when you lift almost daily. 

5. Its that time of year for me to sit and reflect. I know I need to really start putting some action behind it to make it happen, I have a few projects that have been on the back burner. If I am completely honest with myself, I let a few things hold me back. They are procrastination, perfection, and lack of discipline. These are areas I need to rectify in order to reach my goals! I need to implement some strategies that I know work because I have used them in the past and my line sister, Southern Belle, lives her life by them. So what is the secret, you ask? Create a plan. Habakkuk 2:2 states, "...Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may (be able to) read (it easily and quickly) as he hastens by. I know the power of vision boards, to-to lists, and scheduling time to get things done. I just need to get discipline about it. I have not created a new vision board in a long time. I am way overdo. 



6. Boot camp started back up in April. I have been going consistently but I have been consistently inconsistent with eating properly. I really should have dropped about 15 pounds by now. Meal planning is on deck starting in July. I am going to ride out this bad eating for this week! LOL! 


7. The shooting and killing of 9 people in South Carolina is heartbreaking. I have limited my viewing of the stories because it is so doggone depressing. I don't need to watch hours and hours of coverage to know the man who shot up that church is filled with anger and hatred. I know there will be outrage for a few days or weeks, then unfortunately, we will go back to normal. We need to come up with solutions to eradicate hatred. Hatred is a learned behavior. Children are not born with it. They learn it! So we need to QUIT feeding our children with it. 

8.  Today is the last day of summer school! Even though the pay is good, my heart aches from seeing these students who are so far behind on understanding math concepts. In my humble opinion, there are so many causes to the issue. First, I know many of them have been passed on from year to year without truly understanding or even able to repeat what a teacher is doing. It is critical for a student to understand the process or the "whys" on what they are doing. Once they get it, they can handle any problem similar to it. Another major problem is the student's lack of faith to learn math. They are quick to say, "I can't do math!" So they give up. Many times they don't even try to get an understanding of the question. I force my kids to give me something before I even help. It may be as small as telling me what they know or is given in the problem that can help solve it. Then making a connection to the next piece. They get frustrated, but it's alright cause I know you will get a little further with the next question!

9. I am itching for a new car. However, I know a new car with a car note is not in my grand scheme of things. SO I just need to get the things fixed on this car and start saving for a newer car. I made a promise that I would not have another car note years ago. Since that time, I have paid cash for the last 2 cars. It just takes discipline and being able to handle delayed gratification. My last 2 cars have been Hyundai Sonatas. I still like it. I really want the newer version. 

10. As much as I say "I don't like girls!", my school's girls basketball team has gotten my heart. I was asked by the boys' coach to take stats for both teams. So how, those girls tricked me to love them...LOL. On the few occasions the boys and girls went to different locations, I went with the girls. I even went with the girls for playoff games instead of the boys. This season I have committed to being with them for everything except practices. This summer I was at summer league games, team camps, and team building exercises. Yep, I think they are stuck with me! 










OK, that's my 10. Hopefully, I will get to blogging more frequently.


Sunday, March 15, 2015

Faith and Parenting

I was asked to contribute to Serenity's "Faith Series." During the Lenten Season, she has guests blogging about an area of faith. I was ask to write concerning faith and being a single mom. I have copied the post here. Feel free to read some other great stuff at Living My Faith

During this lenten season, we will have guests posts from other ladies who will share what faith means to them and how their faith impacts their lives. I asked Tiffany to write an article to share about faith as it relates to being a single mom. When I met Tiffany (through my blog), she was a mother to a son who may have been in middle or just beginning high school. She used to listen to my stories about Tyler and always give a word of advice based on her experience being in similar shoes. Her son is now a college athlete and a great young man. 

When Val asked me to be a guest blogger, I was honored but felt  a little unworthy. I was not sure what I would say. I even sent her a response saying just that because my faith walk is nowhere near where I think it should. However, I agreed for a couple of reasons. First, I know my friends see things in me that I don't see immediately. I knew if I sat for a minute and ask God to bring back to my remembrance, I could write something that could possibly help someone. Secondly, it is NOT about me. My life is a testimony or an example for someone else. Who am I to NOT share?

So here we go!

My definition of faith is trusting and believing in God or someone. It's not having proof that it will happen but still believe that it will. I can't pinpoint exactly when my faith walk started. However, if I am being transparent, my faith walk have sometimes ran in the opposite direction. It is a work in progress. I am just grateful that I have enough sense to recognize when faith or what I am believing for God allows me to see to come to pass.

I became a single mother exactly one month after I graduated from college. Looking back now, I realized I started applying my faith as a mother the day I discovered I was pregnant. My son was not planned BUT he was wanted from the very beginning. There was never any consideration of any alternatives. I am a strong believer God will never give you more than you can bear.

There were a few prayers I remember saying over the years. It wasn't like I said them every day, but God and I have conversations and He led me in the right directions. One of them was to break generational curses being repeated throughout my family. God also provided me with real tangible examples for my son to see and understand he had a greater purpose. The other prayer was to have a village to assist in the raising of my son. As a woman, I know I can't raise him to be a man. I can and did raise him to be a good person, to be respectful, and to do his best in everything. However, I am not silly enough to think I can raise a man. I was not equip for it.

The reason I had to have faith in God for those two requests is because I knew I could not fulfill them on my own. I come from a loving but underachieving family. I knew that I wanted my child to strive for excellence. Whenever he decided on some foolishness, we made a trip to my hometown. I would let him see how wrong decisions can take you down a road you do not want. That was a great motivator for him to get on track. Looking back, I see that is exactly what God does with us. He shows us situations from our or another's past to learn a lesson. He loves us so much that He does not want us to make the same mistakes.

My village deposited into him as well. They reinforced my beliefs and desires for his life. Many times God provided the right villager to handle situations or milestones. With teenagers, momma doesn't know what she is talking about many times...in a teenager's mind.


       Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This verse is the one I call the ultimate parent faith scripture. This is our or at least my biggest faith item. I have trained him up and set him free. My son is an 18 year old sophomore in college. My role has shifted to more of an advisory role. I know he has not attended church in his college city. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I was sitting in church and received a message from him. "What did pastor say? What is the title of today's lesson? I'm streaming service. I really miss catching him. I need to get up and log in." I think I smiled the remaining of the service. My faith in this area manifested with my son knowing AND doing what he needed to do. As a parent, I can't ask for anything more!

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Day 10: Overcommitment

This day really hit home for me and caused me to pause and really think about my current commitments and the ones I have made in the past. I thought about how I feel when I am overcommitted. There are two feelings that rush over me: overwhelmed and/or frustrated. Neither are good feelings to have festering inside.

I am proud to say that I have been doing a much better job of not overcommitting in the last couple of years. I have learned to say "No" or "I will try." Earth will continue to spin on its axis if I don't make or do everything! Its alright!!

Because "birds of a feather, flock together," I posted and tagged several friends on Facebook. They are just as guilty of doing and being everywhere. About a week ago, one of them asked me how did I learn how to slow down. She was even thinking about moving to a small town as a way to slow herself down. I told her that because I am a busy person, people assume I am busy and I don't correct them. I have at least one "do nothing" day a month. That consists of me moving from the couch to the loveseat throughout the day. I don't leave the house at all. Its my DVR and me! This allows me to recharge.

One of the author's questions is "why is overcommitting bad for us and for others?" For me, it physically makes me sick. It started in college but the doctors did not diagnose it until years later. When I am stress (usually from too many commitments), my body literally starts shutting down. I experience chest pains. They start as a dull pain, but increase in severity to feeling like a 400 pound person is standing on my chest. The cure.....sit my tail down and get some rest! The doctors suggested some medication. To me that was just some foolishness. If I can prevent it by sitting down and resting, then that is what I will do!

Overcommitting have other negative impacts as well. It causes anxiety, resentment, other feelings we can do without in our lives. When we overcommit, we usually can't do it all. Someone is left disappointed and we feel bad for not honoring our word. That is just not a good way to live! Eventually, people will stop asking or leaving us out of things.

One of the plan of actions the pastor recommend is consider my commitments and eliminate one commitment I have that is taking away from my other commitments. I took that to mean an ongoing commitment or a one time event. It was up for me to decide. As I am typing, I thought about a commitment I have for this summer. I am scheduled for several work related commitments with overlapping times. I was debating on how to handle it. I just decided on what to do. I will eliminate the last one I accepted. It causes the most conflict, takes up the most time, and produces the smallest results. After typing it, it sounds like a no brainer. However, I feel it is beneficial. That is why it was on the schedule. I guess I need to tell the powers to be to allow them time to make the necessary adjustments.

Another plan of action is to make one day this week an actual Sabbath Day. That means that you take the day to do nothing and recharge. This is my challenge to you! Will you do it? Can you do it? Leave me a comment or send me a message to let me know if you do it.

For those interested in the series, I have included the link for today's reflection Overcommitment

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