tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16462577931936900822024-03-13T06:30:29.283-04:00The Green Eyed BanditThe Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.comBlogger128125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-39506740904403602832018-04-29T17:09:00.002-04:002018-04-29T17:09:44.048-04:00Dismissed DreamsA few years ago, I read a post from one of my high school friends, Tish. "Never underestimate the power of a dismissed dream. I think there must be a place inside of us where dreams go and wait their turn." ~ Sue Monk Kidd<br />
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When she posted it, I reflected on that post for a week and let it wake up some dreams in me. I think so many times people, due to life circumstances, bury and forget about their dreams and passions. Unfortunately, sometimes they die incomplete. It is sad to think of all the wasted talent that people have that is never supported, encouraged, or pursued.<br />
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I've decided to pursue some of those dreams. I don't want to be part of the would've, could've, should've club.<br />
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What dreams do you need to dust off?<br />
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-52954367217930585372018-04-08T23:24:00.000-04:002018-04-08T23:24:38.940-04:00Lunches and GoalsThis week is Spring Break for me. This is the break I utilize to rest and this year is no different. My typical Spring break activities made the to do list: purge, clean the garage, meet up with others for lumch, workout. It is safe to say, the only thing I got done on the traditional list is meeting up with friends. I had 2 lunch dates this week. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my friends. I didn't even think about getting a picture from the 1st lunch. I almost didn't get one from the second lunch. Tasha stopped in the parking lot to get our picture!<br />
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Both lunches were filled with great conversations and catching up. It was great to go to lunch AND without watching the clock to rush back. Tasha and I actually shut down La Petite Marche! I can't wait for summer break to enjoy long lunches with great conversations!<br />
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Even though my normal to-do list was basically ignored. This break was a great time for me to recharge and reflect. One the first day of my break, I stopped and took a good look at my 45 goal wall. It had become wall decorations or background. I passed it daily but haven't focused on it at all in 2018. In fact, I actually completed a goal and didn't even realize it. At this point, I should be 75-80% done with it. I have about 20% of the goals completed. I hae about 30-35% in progress and the rest I have not even started. The good thing is many of them can be completed within 30-45 days once I start them. I am not going to be distraught if I don't hit my June deadline. As long as I am making progress, I am a happy camper!<br />
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I took this time to refocus on my goals. This post makes the 2nd one in 3 days to get me closer to blogging 45 times within a year. I would need to post at least every other day to make it. I think I may can pull it off if I don't overthink my postings.<br />
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Talking with Tasha and receiving her new book, has motivated me to write my book I talked about 7 years ago. It is not the book I was thinking about when I set a goal to write a book. I was talking to my line sister about it. Literally, in less than two minutes we had the format for it done! I just need to get it on paper! She has given me a deadline of April 30th. So I need to get to typing!<br /><br />Some other things in the works are drinking water as the only beverage, no fast foods, and no sweets for 45 days. I am starting that tomorrow. I knew I needed to do it. At brunch today, one of the ladies gave a challenge of doing better with our eating and taking care of ourselves. There is no reason why not to start tomorrow! I decided to do the 10 day smoothie challenge to jump start my better eating part. I have been saying for awhile I was going to do it. I finally bit the bullet. I went out to get everything I need for the 1st 5 days of it. I speak no irritibility this week!<br />
<br />So as I prepare for my work week, I look forward to slaying goals over the next couple of months!<br />
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-41281544521797892542018-04-07T14:41:00.001-04:002018-04-07T16:02:22.860-04:00Living Your DreamI asked someone. " How are you doing?" Her response, "Living the dream!" That's not something you hear often. So it had me thinking. Am I living my dream? Are others around me living their dreams?<br />
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Are you able to say you are living the dream? If the answer is a resounding, "Yes!" I am so happy for you. Are there any new dreams?<br />
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If you answered, "No", then why not? What is holding you back from making that statement? Take some time to examine your life to see what transformations (changes) you need to make to be living YOUR dream.<br />
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Here are some questions to get you started:<br />
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<li>Do you enjoy your work life? This is where you spend most of your time when you are awake. You are getting ready for work, traveling to work, work, and traveling back home. If your work life is not good, it is probably impacting other parts of your life. </li>
<li>What do you like about your current career? What don't you like about it? Create a list. Is it time for a career change or just a company change? Or are you happy where you are doing what you are doing?</li>
<li>What do you like about your current personal life? What don't you like? How can you change it? Are you willing to change it? It's your life. You only get one! Make it your best life! </li>
<li>Do you need to spend more time with God to figure out who you are?</li>
<li>Do you know your gifts?</li>
<li>Do you need more training or education? It does not necessarily mean getting a degree. A class or certification maybe all that is needed.</li>
<li>What are you willing to do without getting paid?</li>
<li>What do you do that makes your heart smile?</li>
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Hopefully these questions will get your wheels turning so you too can say, "I am living the dream!"The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-90555247508375510332018-01-17T23:13:00.000-05:002018-01-17T23:37:54.734-05:00Girls' Getaway - 2017<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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One of my 45 goals was to take a girls' trip/getaway. Literally as I was putting that goal on my vision wall, some of my friends and I was messaging back and forth. Before my wall was done, we had our trip outline for Savannah in August. Just that quick, a goal was progressing before the official 45th birthday.<br />
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I have big ideas but the details.....yeah, I need someone else to handle it. Then just tell me what I need to do! I am so glad this group have 2 detail oriented people. Ms. Organize did an awesome job with squaring away our lodging from getting a suite to finding a home to rent for the same amount. This allowed us to have the comforts of home away from home. <br />
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Another person suggested we bring small gifts for each other. Ms. Organized has these cute boxes waiting on us when we arrived. She took the day off to visit family and arrived to Savannah before the rest of us. We didn't open them until the next day though.<br />
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We spent the 1st night get hanging at the house and talking. It was just a perfect time to just be away and leave our lives back in Metro Atlanta and Macon.<br />
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The next day, it was time to get out and see Savannah! First stop, brunch! We down to The Riverfront to find some seafood. Of course we had to take pictures galore.<br />
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Several of us had one thing that she wanted to do. For me, it was going on the African-American Tour and Civil Rights Museum. I went on it before about 15 years ago and knew I enjoyed it. Thankfully, my friends indulged me and we had a great time. It started raining during the tour. I'm glad we decided to take the riding tour instead of the walking tour! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The guy in the flyer was our actual guide</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sanctuary of the oldest African American church in America - First African Baptist Church</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Civil Rights Museum in Savannah</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Tour Guide </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Taking pictures and giving ourselves our own tour before the tour</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Organ in 1st African Baptist Church </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soldiers memorial </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Soldiers memorial </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Literally holes in the floor to signal safe passage via The Underground Railroad</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of our gifts from our gift exchange</td></tr>
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After we finished our tour, we were definitely ready for some more seafood! Ms. Organized's sister recommended the place. It was a hole in the wall, but we know those are the places with the best food! We stopped by another spot to pick up some wings too. Once back at our place, we talked, laughed, and had a good time! I wish I had some of the pictures from that night! Ms. Organized's sister came over. She easily fell right in with the group with our conversations. We all agreed she is invited on our next Girls Vacation.</div>
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Overall, we had a great weekend. Getting away and reconnecting in real life is just what we needed. Accomplishing one of my goals on my 45 wall was an added bonus! </div>
The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-44589690074628333972017-08-19T19:00:00.001-04:002017-08-19T19:01:12.146-04:00Crushing Goals in the First Month<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<span style="color: purple;"><i><span style="color: yellow;">Disclaimer: I started writing this post the last week of July. I have been busy with returning to school and completing goals, that I have not taken the time to sit down to finish. It's time for the next update. LOL!</span><span style="color: purple;"> </span></i></span></div>
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As many of you know, I am in the midst of completing 45 goals by June, 2018. During the first month, I have been able to complete 3 goals, planned 2 goals, and have 5 other goals in progress. </div>
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The first goal completed was establishing an educational mentor. I had a couple people in mind who could possibly fulfill this role. The first person I spoke to about being my mentor is my college friend, Tasha. We have been keeping tabs on each other since our college days. Our lives have many similarities including both of us becoming teachers as a second career. </div>
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Our boys are in a leadership program together. They had an event and I went to pick up my son one evening from Tasha's home. I told her about my vision wall and the goals. I asked her to become my educational mentor. She was hesitant at first. However, I was able to convince her to do it. She has been an unofficial mentor anyway. She agreed and told me she was going to push me. </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">2 of the 3 goals completed in the 1st 30 days</td></tr>
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It wasn't quite June 20th. So I hadn't posted my wall yet, even though it was done. I already had one of my goals completed! YAY!!!! As you can see the card was changed to a white card. As I complete the goals, the card is changed to white with the date of completion.<br />
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As you can see, I also received my passport. It came in the mail while I was home on vacation. It was officially the 2nd goal I completed. Now, it is time to book some out of the country trips.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goal 3 done! </td></tr>
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This summer has been hectic. I worked almost every day in June. Who said teachers have the summer off? With that pace, I knew the only way to take a break was to leave town. I went home for almost 3 weeks. I have not been home that long since being in college. It made it very easy to crush my goal of visiting 2 childhood friends. I actually saw 6 people and NOT the 2 I just knew I would see. I was so busy enjoying home, that I did not take pictures with all 6 people, but I did get two with my protectors.<br />
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In addition to completing 3 goals, I have made some progress on a few more. </div>
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Planned: Girls' Getaway in August and New York Broadway show in January<br />
In Progress: Gratitude Posts, Writing a Book, Purge part of the garage, Blog 45 times, Google Classroom Certified<br />
I can't wait to report next month's growth! I know at least 2 more will be completed and more progress on a few others! Let's go! Let's go!!!!!<br />
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-15513072890389373322017-06-26T10:53:00.001-04:002017-06-26T10:54:29.462-04:00Vision Goal - African American Museums One of the goals on the <a href="http://thegreen-eyedbandit.blogspot.com/2017/06/the-big-45.html" target="_blank">Vision Wall</a> is to visit at least 5 African American museums in the 45th year of life. Immediately, I thought of three I could visit with some ease. There's the fairly new <a href="https://www.civilandhumanrights.org/" target="_blank">Center for Civil and Human Rights Museum</a> in Atlanta. I've been wanting to visit it since it opened. There's the <a href="http://www.freedomcenter.org/" target="_blank">National Underground Railroad Freedom Center</a> in Cincinnati, Ohio. I've told myself that I would stop on one of my rides home, but never did it. It's a must! Then there's the <a href="http://www.bcri.org/index.html" target="_blank">Birmingham Civil Rights Institute</a>. I plan to make it a weekend when I visit Man-Child at school.<br />
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As I was discussing my wall with one of my friends, she mentioned the center in Macon. That is not too far from me and we have another friend who lives there. It is the <a href="http://www.tubmanmuseum.com/" target="_blank">Tubman Museum</a>. If I remember correctly, my friend in Macon mentioned it as well. So that means it's time for a trip to Macon. I probably will head there in September. </div>
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There are a few places I would love to revisit for a renewed appreciation. There is the <a href="http://www.apexmuseum.org/" target="_blank">Apex Museum</a> and the <a href="http://www.hammondshouse.org/" target="_blank">Hammonds House</a> both in Atlanta. I don't think I have visited either place since I graduated from college. I need to change it. In fact, I need to spend the day just exploring that area of town all over again. I was in the area on Saturday and made the comment to my line sister. We needed to be tourists right there in all that history. I could visit more than 5 historical sites just in a 5 mile radius of our meeting place. </div>
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As I was creating this blog, I googled and found a great list of <a href="http://www.blackpast.org/aah/african-american-museums-united-states-and-canada" target="_blank">museums</a> if you are interested. You may have a gem in your own backyard to explore. Or you may even find a reason to visit a nearby city. </div>
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Just for my Dancing Diva, I have a timeframe for this goal. I plan to complete this one in the 3rd quarter. So, check on me by September 30th! </div>
The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-15804853592112630112017-06-26T09:16:00.000-04:002019-06-17T18:27:11.003-04:00Ordered StepsMany of my non-virtual friends know I started a new position right after the Thanksgiving break 2015. I kept meaning to write about it over the holidays. It is a great example of the manifestation of having goals and a vision board.<br />
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<span style="color: yellow;">Habakkuk 2:2-3 states Then the Lord answered me and said, "Write the vision. And engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets so that the owner who reads it will run. For the vision is yet for the appointed [future] time. It hurries toward the goal [of fulfillment]; it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it, because it will certainly come; it will not delay. (Amplified Version)</span><br />
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In late October, I received a text from a former coworker, "Hey! Are you still interested in being a math coach?" I hadn't heard from this friend in a few months. He had taken a promotion in another county. I replied, "Yep, or a graduation coach position." He quickly replied, "I'm at an assistant principal's meeting. Another school is looking for a math coach. Send her your resume'. I can guarantee you an interview. You will have to win the job!" ORDERED STEP<br />
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I immediately called him to get the details. Apparently, he was talking with one of his frat brothers. Since they are Omega men and I am a Delta, he was asking the other AP did he know me. In the description of me, he stated I was a math teacher and coach (basketball) at his old high school. The words "math" and "coach" peaked the ears of a woman sitting at the next table. She was another AP at a different high school. She was looking for a math coach. She was looking for a strong math teacher or a math coach. They had a conversation that prompted his initial text to me.<br />
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I sent her my resume'. As soon as she read it, she sent me an email for three different possible interviewing days. Since I had an appointment on one of those days, I took the day off to handle both. I shared the information with my assistant principal. She wished me the best and wrote a glowing reference. ORDERED STEP<br />
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I went to the interview with the mindset of this will be a great chance to take notes on the type of questions to expect in future interviews. This was the 1st time I have interviewed for an educator's position. My volunteer work and my work as a new educator opened the doors for the previous positions. <i>(That's a nugget of someone). </i>I knew they were looking for a math coach. I haven't had that experience by title. I've mentored newer teachers before, but never with the title. However, I knew I was definitely in preparation for the next level.<br />
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I didn't tell many people about the interview. As mentioned, my immediate supervisor knew (but not my principal), my basketball coaches, my mother, and a few people in my inner circle. Maybe 7 or 8 people in total. That morning I received a text message from an unsaved number, " Good luck on your interview today." Since the number was not saved, I did not know who sent the message. I didn't want to say, "Who is this?" Therefore, I responded, "Thank you! I will let you know how it goes."<br />
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The normal process is to interview followed by the waiting process. I interviewed with the assistant principal and another leader in the building. The questions felt like they were tailored made for me. Many of the questions they asked were of situations I had dealt with at my current school. I was able to offer them tangible solutions to some of their current problems. We were literally nodding as the other was talking. As the conversation progressed, I felt very comfortable with the interview. She mentioned they were working with a school improvement specialist from the state. She was especially working with them in the area of math. She stated the specialist name. I almost fell out of my seat. The specialist was my former math coordinator who had left about 6 months before and currently was THEIR school specialist! Many of my answers to the questions were based on my experience working with her. My solutions to their questions were the same solutions she had mentioned to them. ORDERED STEP <br />
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At the end of the interview, she told me they would make a decision soon. Then she looked at the other lady and asked me to wait outside. At that moment, I knew they were going to offer me the job. ORDERED STEP<br />
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I waited for about five minutes. During that time, I met another assistant principal. We made small talk as I waited. When she came out, he said, "I recommend her for the job." She looked at him and started laughing. She stated, "I guess he stole my thunder. I would like to offer you the position of math academic coach." <br />
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As soon as I left, I called my assistant principal who is my immediate supervisor. She was just as excited as I was. She questioned, "So what are you going to do? You know you can't NOT take the job. This is the next step for you in your educator's walk." I knew she was right. I knew it was a job I could do with some training/guidance. But I was conflicted because I would have to leave my babies and my team in the middle of the year. I was the department chair and over several other clubs and teams. She knew what I was thinking. She quickly said, "We will be fine! If you died today, they will look for your replacement tomorrow. So are you going to tell the principal or do you want me to tell him?"<br />
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Remember the person who texted me from the unsaved number? I texted the person the interview went well and I was offered the job. The person responded, "I know. I am sitting with your new principal. I will call you this evening." The person called me and we talked for about 5 minutes. All the while, I did not have a clue who was on the other end of the phone. Then it clicked! It was my old math coordinator. The same person working with the new school with improving math instruction! They told her they were interviewing 2 people. She knew both of us and told them they wouldn't go wrong with choosing either of us. As far as I know, the other person was never interviewed. ORDERED STEP<br />
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With educators, it can be tricky to get out of your contract in the middle of the year. A principal can make it hard, especially if you are involved in many extra duties. The next day at work, I spoke with my principal. He was upset that I had an interview without telling him. He wanted to know how they could offer me a job without even speaking with him. Initially, he said I couldn't take the position because I was under contract. I reminded him that if I received a new job that was a promotion in position or pay, I could get out of the contract. This was both! He then told me that I couldn't get out of my contract without him having a replacement for me. He was not having a valuable math teacher leave without someone in place. I told him that he had about three weeks to find a replacement and I would help in the search. <br />
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He asked about my student teacher from the year before. I told him the principal from a nearby school asked me for a reference. He immediately called her and offered her my job. She agreed to take it because she was familiar with my style of teaching and my students' routines. I turned my official letter of resignation and he accepted it. A week later, she decided she did not want my old job. Since my resignation was accepted, he could not hold me back. ORDERED STEP<br />
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I tell people all the time, my steps have been ordered on this current road. I don't know where the road is going. I just know I will continue to listen and take the next ordered step!<br />
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-72793881249147216422017-06-20T07:10:00.000-04:002017-11-30T13:15:22.477-05:00The Big 45Many people use January 1st to create New Year's resolutions with many of them forgotten by January 31st. No judgement. I'm guilty as well. One time, my friend LadyLee shared with me her thoughts about resolutions versus setting goals in January. Resolutions are created but few really make a commitment to seeing them come to fruition. They make us feel good about making them because we get caught up with the hope and newness of a new year. However, when you set a goal, you set your mind to accomplish it. It made total sense to me. Ever since that conversation, I have set at least one goal every January for the calendar year. I would evaluate and make adjustments in June which is my birthday month (new year of my life).<br />
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I am turning 45 this year. People remember my <a href="https://thegreen-eyedbandit.blogspot.com/2012/01/celebrating-40-years-in-40-days.html" target="_blank">celebrating 40 years in 40 days</a>. That had them waiting for what I was planning for 45. Instead of having 45 days of activities, I created 45 goals to complete before I turn 46. My goals came in spurts; I worked on them for about a month. The goals range from taking a day to complete to taking almost the year. I solicited some of my friends to give me some ideas. Some I utilized, others I tweaked, and a few was not happening! I do appreciate all of their help to make this task become a reality.<br />
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It was a great process. Initially, I was planning to just write 45 goals on a piece of paper or in a notebook. But if you know my friends, they were not going to let it be that basic. One of my friends suggested I write them on index cards and stick them on my wall. As I completed them, take them down. That got the creative juices flowing. Instead of just putting them up randomly and taking them down, we came up with writing each goal on a colored index card. The cards are arranged into the number 45. As each goal is completed, I will cover it with a plain white index card. I will take a picture monthly, preferably on the 20th, to have a pictorial progression of achieving my goals.<br />
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Here is some pictures of me getting it together. I actually put my wall up at the end of May. I keep saying instead of having a vision board, I have a vision wall!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Getting the 45 just right</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The Vision Wall is right outside of my bedroom</td></tr>
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My nephew assisted me with putting it on the wall. It was great opportunity for us to talk about setting goals and having accountability partners. We read each goal with him wanting to have some of the same goals. For instance, he has decided we are going to learn how to swim together. He even wrote his name on that card to accept the role as my accountability partner.<br />
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Speaking of accountability partners, I have asked my friends to select at least one of my goals to hold my feet to the fire. I have added an explanation point to the 45 to track my goals with repeated actions. For instance, I want to read 8 books for pleasure. I will list the title and date of completion of each book. If you see a goal you want to assist me, please let me know!<br />
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The amazing thing is Habakkuk 2:2 is already in full swing. One of the goals I wrote was a girls getaway. Literally within minutes of me placing it on the wall, a group of us was reminiscing about a trip we took 3 years ago. Someone said we were overdue. And just like that, the next one was planned for this summer.<br />
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With it being June 20th, I have started attacking my goals. This is blog #1 of 45 for the next 365 days. I plan to blog about this experience throughout the year. Feel free to come back to check on my progress. Better yet, grab a goal and work it out with me! Let's enjoy this ride together.<br />
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-12142605337661428652016-08-28T22:25:00.003-04:002016-08-28T22:25:47.035-04:00Six Sunday Sentiments 1. I am such a horrible blogger. Who only blogs a handful of times year?<div>
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2. I think I am turning into my mother. Growing up we had friends and cousins moved in with us. Apparently, I have that gene. So far Man-Child's best friend, one of my former basketball players, my niece, and my nephew have lived with me at one time or other. </div>
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3. The new school year has started. It is wearing me out! Most of my administration is new with new ideas. One thing is for sure, my coaching time is protected. The principal hired 2 additional academic coaches. So I am excited about being able to learn so much from them. My coaching vision board will become a reality. </div>
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4. Football season is here! I am spending my Friday under the lights and Saturdays traveling to see my Man-Children. </div>
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5. When I first started this post, I just knew I had so much to talk about. I am struggling to come up with 6! </div>
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6. I am really trying to become more organize. I am creating a coach's notebook to plan my days. I am creating a chore chart for my nephew. We made a deal that he will earn $1 each day nobody has to remind him to do his chores. I am going to create one for myself as well for the chores I want to do on certain days. I had a meme that have daily chores. I need to find and print it out. </div>
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Whew! I got through it. Now off to bed! </div>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-72710902975742376182016-05-03T10:19:00.000-04:002016-05-03T10:19:17.705-04:0010 Tuesday Thoughts1. I said I was going to do better. I know one day I will slow down and take the time to reflect AND write/type what I am feeling. ONE DAY. I love going back to read old blogs and remember what I was feeling at that time.<br />
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2. Someone tried to steal my Man-Child's identity. The crazy thing is I thought about telling him to run his credit about a month ago. Yesterday, I (meaning he) received a letter in the mail stating someone tried to file a tax return using his name. Well, obviously, the person wasn't that smart. They didn't use his correct government name. He will request all credit reports. This will be a great lesson on credit watching, credit building, and identity theft.<br />
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3. Its testing season in Georgia. Well I guess all over the country. This week is testing for my school. It is sure is different from testing in my old county. I am just going to leave it at that comment.<br />
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4. I need to get to writing my chapters in a book I am co-authoring with one of my college friends. We have already decided on the chapters of our book. We just need to write! This man has a great mind for money and business. We are writing a book geared to recent high school graduates and college students. When I get a goal, it is imperative for me to create a vision board to remind myself of my goals and dreams. Here is the vision board for the book.<br />
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5. Summer school and the next school year are heavily on my mind. I really want to see growth in the teachers I am coaching. This is by far the biggest impact and resource on our students. A great teacher can literally change or elevate the trajectory of a child. Of course I created a vision board for that as well!<br />
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6. I have a massive headache. This is the 2nd one in a week. I think its sinus related. I notice if I am not consistent with allergy medicine during this time of year, I have issues. This is the 1st year that my issues have been a headache though. It reminded me to take my medicine though! </div>
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7. My guys have decided to spend the summer in Birmingham to work, workout, and take a class or two. They are entering their last full year of college. If I am honest, I feel some kind of way about it. I thought I would get to hang out with my guys this summer. I guess they are really (semi)grown. </div>
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I know they don't look grown in this picture. They were clowning at their track meet that was local. I went and hung out with them for the day. </div>
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8. The Detroit teachers had a blue out yesterday. They are protesting because their school district stated they ran out of money to pay them. I need to read more on this matter. I am confused how that happens. I know they have unions in the North as well. This is not good for all involved. </div>
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9. I am in another challenge. Hopefully, I will be able to finish this one! Its 100 days of happiness. The premise is simple. We are responsible for our own happiness; therefore, we should find some happiness daily. Even when you are having a bad day, there is at least 1 thing that made you smile or brighten your day. Today is day 3. I am looking for the opportunity. </div>
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10. Speaking of challenges, I need to get back posting my daily gratitude posts. I think I have NOT posted more than I have. Because I am a overcoming procrastinator and perfectionist, I don't post daily cause I don't have the right pictures or my words are not elaborate enough to post. I have to get pass my hangups and celebrate my friends while they are here. I like "giving flowers to the living."</div>
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Welp, that's it for now. Maybe I will post again before the month ends. </div>
<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-69259233243824213332016-02-14T20:27:00.001-05:002016-12-13T10:32:28.460-05:00“DON’T DATE SINGLE MOTHERS AND DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THEM” Part 1 RebuttalThis <a href="http://www.thenwblogspot.com/dont-date-single-mothers-and-dont-waste-your-time-with-them-us-author-writes-scathing-article-gives-15-reasons-why-real-men-shouldnt-date-single-mothers/" target="_blank">article</a> was posted in one of my groups in FB. Usually, I would read and just shake my head. However, I could not get past this one. Maybe because I think there is a huge difference between being a single mother and being a baby mama. Some don't see a difference. I do. This was the case way before I even became a single mother.<br />
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When I read the article, I immediately started writing a rebuttal in the comment section. However, I was breaking one of my FB rules, "No blogging in the comment section." So since I didn't want to break my rule. I made a simple comment, "I don't agree and I will blog about it."</div>
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<b style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">1. Never Available.</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "noto sans"; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px;"> A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.</span><br />
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I wouldn't say "never available" but I would say she schedules her time, especially her free time, more than most. Her ability to be spontaneous is limited to honoring her schedule with the needs and wants of her children. If she has children who are active in extra curricular activities (practices, games, meets, meetings, etc) then that carves into her limited time. She has LIMITED availability not NO availability. That should not discredit her desire to spend time with you. It causes you all to be creative on when you can spend time together. You may have to meet while the children are at practice for a walk around the park or a cup of coffee at the nearby bookstore or coffee shop. She may only have about an hour to carve out during the week. Capitalize on her free every other weekend when the children are with their father. If something is wrong (sick or some other major problem) with her children is the main reason she will cancel dates (not see you) at the last minute. If she is exhausted from her week, then she would suggest doing something at home versus going out to spend time with you.<br />
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<b style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">2. YOU are NOT a priority.</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "noto sans"; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px;"> Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.</span><br />
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You are not the FIRST priority but you are a priority IF you are in a relationship. I think the author was exaggerating a bit with being a priority behind "the kitchen sink and the stopped up toilet"; however, if not, then a man can assist/help/fix that problem. Men love to solve problems. These are simple problems/priorities to fix to eliminate you feeling like you are not a priority. Here's an added benefit. She will feel like a priority TO you if you help her with her other priorities. Many women are interested in you will do what they can to be with you. However, they have to make sure their children are good. How would you feel if she is spending time with you and there are things she is neglecting to make her life and her children's life comfortable? If she becomes your wife, she will have this same logic or trait in your daily combined world.<br />
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<b style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #555555; font-family: 'Noto Sans'; font-size: 14px; font-stretch: inherit; line-height: 23px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER.</b><span style="background-color: white; color: #555555; font-family: "noto sans"; font-size: 14px; line-height: 23px;"> A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.</span><br />
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This is soooooooo far from the truth! She does not EXPECT you to drop EVERYTHING but she does expect you to understand her time is limited. Read #1. If you want more time, just understand it will include family time because she is a package deal. I know many women who do not bring random men around her children. So if you are not solidified as a couple, she will probably limit your time around her children anyway. Again, see #1. She will probably expect you to be more flexible with your time if you do not have physical custody or share physical custody of your children.<br />
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<b style="border: 0px; font-family: inherit; font-size: inherit; font-stretch: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-variant: inherit; line-height: inherit; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">4. Emotionally Unavailable- </b>Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.</div>
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In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.</div>
Ummm....yeah if she is holding a torch for her children's father, then yeah that's a problem. If the children are young, I would even say you need to make sure she is emotionally over him. This is true with any woman whether she has children or not. Heck, it's true for men as well. I think everyone should take a break before jumping into a new relationship. Everyone need time to purge the old love from his or her system. Take time to deal with the baggage that comes from a failed relationship or marriage. Don't think JUST time heals the pain. Time with dealing with the baggage makes a person ready to move one.<br />
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Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.</div>
For some that is the case, especially if they have not dealt with their baggage. However, I have noticed this is not the case when both parties have truly moved on. Normally, when the woman without any shadow of a doubt is done with her child(ren)'s father(s), then this is not a situation that is not easily handled. For the child sake, I would hope the dad is around to co-parent their child but that should be the extent of their relationship. Is that a reality? Absolutely! I have lived it and watched others do it as well.<br />
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There were 15 things on the list. I will continue the other 10 in future posts. I didn't want to make this post extremely long. The original article was long by itself. </div>
The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-1394107937086629152016-02-02T12:03:00.001-05:002016-02-02T12:04:22.222-05:0010 Tuesday Thoughts1. I really need to blog more. I have ideas but either I don't have the time or think I can't expand on it long enough for a decent blog.<br />
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2. I am loving my Grateful366 campaign. I have several friends who have taken the challenge of posting a gratitude dedicated to someone for the entire year.<br />
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3. My new gig is INTERESTING. There is a lot of adjustment on my part and theirs. I literally have a 3 page to-do list from the state liaison to get us where we need to be. I keep saying "baby steps, baby steps" and "As long as there is some progress, then its progress."<br />
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4. My chants from #3 did not work for me yesterday. Today WILL be a better day.<br />
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5. Since my day was not pleasant yesterday, I took my happiness into my own hands and started creating and gathering pictures and quotes for my 2 newest vision boards.<br />
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6. Speaking of vision boards, I created a new on Sunday. Southern Belle invited me to the country to work on them with some of her family and friends. We had a great time!<br />
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7. My shirt got a lot of love! Hopefully, my friends will support Gimme a Bling and purchase this one or others. She does quality work and none of her shirts have messy or negative sayings.<br />
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8. The month of January went by pretty fast. I don't know if that means I am getting old or I am enjoying my days. I am going to go with option 2. </div>
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9. This year's theme at church is "Dream Again". As confirmation, several of my friends have reignited our group to push some of our dreams. I will help a friend with his dream/goal of writing a book. I am hashing out the plans for an adventure as well. (Vision boards are in progress for each)</div>
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10. I think the "10 Thoughts Posts" are becoming a routine around these parts. They are quick to do. </div>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-33582703932952863622015-12-14T17:57:00.000-05:002016-02-09T13:27:42.791-05:00Living in One of my Purposes (in Pictures)Many people feel they don't know what is their purpose. I have struggled with it. I would venture to say that we have more than one purpose here on this place we call Earth. I know one of my purposes is to be an educator. I have been an educator wayyyyyyyyyy before I stepped into the classroom. I know that sounds crazy. SO let me explain. I have been educating/teaching people on different things for as long as I can remember.<br />
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In my opinion, teaching is more than just a job. It is who you are. It is in your bones, your spirit, your heart. No matter how much my students fight me on learning, I still keep coming back for more. It is so worth it when they finally get it. When I see the "light bulb" go off, it makes my heart smiles. Sometimes I am more excited about it than them.<br />
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I love this picture above. I have made it my profile picture on Facebook several times. It is a representation of what I love to do. TEACH! And support my babies. If you look closely, I am wearing " I wear for Tiana" Tee. Tiana is one of my Delta nieces that overcame childhood bone cancer. She is our Princess Warrior. Her journey was such a testimony to her strength and the foundation of love, strength, grace and so much more that her parents (and village) deposited into her.<br />
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This dude right here. He is dubbed as my favorite by the kids. Probably because I kept him out of so much trouble and let him get away with so much. Look at him. He is a runt! I don't even have on heels and I am looking down on him. This picture was taken when he was a freshman. He is now a junior and taller than me. He always says "This is OUR room! They better fall in line!"<br />
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These ladies are part of the DHS "Mighty Math Department." I would put up the team of teachers I had when I started there against any math department anywhere. These ladies were more than coworkers; they became my friends. This is from the night where senior football players had their favorite teachers wear their jerseys. I wasn't even working there anymore, but one of my babies requested them to call me and ask me to come and wear his jerseys. This is when you know what you do matters. They don't have to be the perfect student or child, but it still matters that you care and deposited into them. Man, I love reaching the next generation.<br />
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These are some of my original babies catching the action from a football game. To this day, they check in with me and make sure they spend some time with me when they are home from break. I never even taught the one on the far right. I think they have given me more than I have even given them. They let us know it is well worth what we do! </div>
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Signing Day! </div>
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These are a couple of pictures from Signing Day at my last school. I can't say enough great things about the coaches for the girl's basketball program. They do so much for the girls that they call them "Our 2 dads." They mentor, teach, counsel, give tough love, feed, transport, and anything else they need. They are constantly exposing them to opportunities and experiences outside of their school and neighborhood. One of the coaches is a community coach and gives his time freely. I mean a lot of time. He will even pop up and sit in classes if any of the girls are cutting up in a class. </div>
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The coaches (and now even me since I am part of the coaching staff) can get the girls to open up about almost anything. I am sure we know more stuff about them then their parents. Since we have this awesome responsibility, we make sure we are advising them as we would our own children. </div>
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The 2 seniors signing did not have any schools looking at them before the season started. One of the young ladies didn't even play until January due to an ACL injury. Both received full rides to college. </div>
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Now, this is my baby boy!!!! I think this kid started calling me "Ma-muh" before he got off of my roster. Once the teachers and staff realized he was one of my extra sons, they did not hesitate to call on me when needed. I was even added as an emergency contact. I use him as an example at the beginning of every semester and throughout the school year when needed. I told them, "If I let my baby boy earn a sit in summer school, what do you think I will let you earn?!"</div>
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This simple gesture was a gift from a student. No reason other than to show appreciation to me. Most teachers are like me. A simple card, note, or token of appreciation is the fuel we need to keep going. It is a reminder that what we do does matter.<br />
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One of my babies. I see so much potential in her. Her mom has allowed me to spend time with her outside of school. We have gone to church, shopping, and vision board parties. I listen to her dreams and fears. Give her advice and hugs when needed. Most of all, I am just there for her.<br />
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One of my peers nominated me for Teacher of the Month. It was an honor for my colleagues to see the extra miles I go for my kids. Yes, I say they are my kids, cause that is exactly how I treat them. Like a parent, they know they better not show out in front of company (visitors who may visit) or with a substitute. We can have fun, joke, and get loose. BUT you will NOT show out unless you want ME TO SHOW OUT,<br />
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This collage above is a snapshot of what I meant that our coaches are expanding our children's thinking. We had a state playoff game about 3 hours away. Instead of leaving early the day of the game, we left the evening before the game. Instead of practicing at the school, coach made arrangements for the girls to practice at one of the local colleges. Subconsciously, he was planting the seed for them to play on the next level which means going to college. For some, they hadn't thought about what's next after high school. Again, planting seeds! Now we are watering, pruning, and growing our little flowers for the next phase of their lives. <br />
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These young ladies are my "daughters". You would not believe how many students come by to confirm they belong to me. I even heard students argue each other down about them being my daughters. I just laugh. At least they are using their reasoning skills outside of my class. LOL!<br />
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Even on my Founder's Day, I am putting in work for my babies. This is from one of our games which was on January 13th. Still represented for my sorority while working.<br />
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I truly believe I am charged with teaching/educating the whole student. I just don't teach math. I teach life and life skills. I took a couple of days with a class to create vision boards. They cut, drew, wrote their life goals after high school. It was the 1st time for many to think pass today. We took time to reflect on whether their actions of today will assist them in reaching their goals/dreams of the future.<br />
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They did it! They finally wore me down. I will now tolerate girls long term....LOL!!!! For those who know me, I prefer to have a class of all or mainly all boys over girls any day. I know I can work a nerve because I require you to give me more than you want to give. Girls tend to hold on to grudges for-ev-ah! Boys get their feelings hurt and are over it later that day or the next. These girls though. They got my heart (and usually my phone for selfies and us-ies).<br />
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And at the end of the day, I just want them to be Super Stars in their lives. </div>
<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-61584455348279342802015-06-25T23:27:00.002-04:002015-06-25T23:34:46.085-04:0010 Thursday Thoughts I've been wanting to blog for at least a week, but couldn't come up with anything that I thought was long enough to blog about OR I didn't have enough time to sit and get all of my thoughts out at one sitting. SO here we go..................<br />
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1. I was in AP training a couple of weeks ago to allow me to teach AP Statistics next school year. Picking this particular class had several blessings in them:<br />
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<li>I was excused from post planning at school,</li>
<li>the instructor's class description stated he will give us his lesson plans, tests, assignments, and tips,</li>
<li>the site feeds us too well (if you know me, you know I love to eat), and</li>
<li>and the surprise bonus: my county just adopted the instructor's book as our book!!!!</li>
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2. The Man-Child has finished his second year of college. I think this year has been more challenging this year than the first year. He has grown quite a bit and made some mistakes. The blessing is he is learning from those mistakes and making the necessary changes. One of the lessons he is mastering is asking for help. I am not sure if that is a pride thing or a smart kid defect, but he knows his village is here to guide him to look at many options and make the best decision. </div>
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3. I started this blog as as 10 Thought Thursday about 3 weeks ago while I was in class. Apparently, I got side tracked cause I am just getting to it today.<br />
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4. Man-Child and I both celebrated a birthday last week. This was the first time he was not with me for his birthday. I guess that means he is (almost) grown. My motto, "As long as you are dependent for any of your bills, then you are not grown." He spent his birthday in class and lifting weights. He will be home for less than a week. We will celebrate when he gets home.<br />
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5. Its that time of year for me to sit and reflect. I know I need to really start putting some action behind it to make it happen, I have a few projects that have been on the back burner. If I am completely honest with myself, I let a few things hold me back. They are procrastination, perfection, and lack of discipline. These are areas I need to rectify in order to reach my goals! I need to implement some strategies that I know work because I have used them in the past and my line sister, Southern Belle, lives her life by them. So what is the secret, you ask? Create a plan. Habakkuk 2:2 states, "...Write the vision and engrave it so plainly upon tablets that everyone who passes may (be able to) read (it easily and quickly) as he hastens by. I know the power of vision boards, to-to lists, and scheduling time to get things done. I just need to get discipline about it. I have not created a new vision board in a long time. I am way overdo. </div>
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6. Boot camp started back up in April. I have been going consistently but I have been consistently inconsistent with eating properly. I really should have dropped about 15 pounds by now. Meal planning is on deck starting in July. I am going to ride out this bad eating for this week! LOL! </div>
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7. The shooting and killing of 9 people in South Carolina is heartbreaking. I have limited my viewing of the stories because it is so doggone depressing. I don't need to watch hours and hours of coverage to know the man who shot up that church is filled with anger and hatred. I know there will be outrage for a few days or weeks, then unfortunately, we will go back to normal. We need to come up with solutions to eradicate hatred. Hatred is a learned behavior. Children are not born with it. They learn it! So we need to QUIT feeding our children with it. </div>
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8. Today is the last day of summer school! Even though the pay is good, my heart aches from seeing these students who are so far behind on understanding math concepts. In my humble opinion, there are so many causes to the issue. First, I know many of them have been passed on from year to year without truly understanding or even able to repeat what a teacher is doing. It is critical for a student to understand the process or the "whys" on what they are doing. Once they get it, they can handle any problem similar to it. Another major problem is the student's lack of faith to learn math. They are quick to say, "I can't do math!" So they give up. Many times they don't even try to get an understanding of the question. I force my kids to give me something before I even help. It may be as small as telling me what they know or is given in the problem that can help solve it. Then making a connection to the next piece. They get frustrated, but it's alright cause I know you will get a little further with the next question!</div>
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9. I am itching for a new car. However, I know a new car with a car note is not in my grand scheme of things. SO I just need to get the things fixed on this car and start saving for a newer car. I made a promise that I would not have another car note years ago. Since that time, I have paid cash for the last 2 cars. It just takes discipline and being able to handle delayed gratification. My last 2 cars have been Hyundai Sonatas. I still like it. I really want the newer version. </div>
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10. As much as I say "I don't like girls!", my school's girls basketball team has gotten my heart. I was asked by the boys' coach to take stats for both teams. So how, those girls tricked me to love them...LOL. On the few occasions the boys and girls went to different locations, I went with the girls. I even went with the girls for playoff games instead of the boys. This season I have committed to being with them for everything except practices. This summer I was at summer league games, team camps, and team building exercises. Yep, I think they are stuck with me! </div>
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OK, that's my 10. Hopefully, I will get to blogging more frequently.<br />
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-66886428724096924502015-03-15T20:02:00.000-04:002016-05-03T11:45:42.473-04:00Faith and Parenting <span style="color: #674ea7;"><i>I was asked to contribute to Serenity's "Faith Series." During the Lenten Season, she has guests blogging about an area of faith. I was ask to write concerning faith and being a single mom. I have copied the post here. Feel free to read some other great stuff at <a href="http://livingmyfaith.org/?page_id=9" target="_blank">Living My Faith</a>. </i></span><br />
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<b><i>During this lenten season, we will have guests posts from other ladies who will share what faith means to them and how their faith impacts their lives. I asked Tiffany to write an article to share about faith as it relates to being a single mom. When I met Tiffany (through my blog), she was a mother to a son who may have been in middle or just beginning high school. She used to listen to my stories about Tyler and always give a word of advice based on her experience being in similar shoes. Her son is now a college athlete and a great young man. </i></b><br />
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When Val asked me to be a guest blogger, I was honored but felt a little unworthy. I was not sure what I would say. I even sent her a response saying just that because my faith walk is nowhere near where I think it should. However, I agreed for a couple of reasons. First, I know my friends see things in me that I don't see immediately. I knew if I sat for a minute and ask God to bring back to my remembrance, I could write something that could possibly help someone. Secondly, it is NOT about me. My life is a testimony or an example for someone else. Who am I to NOT share?<br />
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So here we go!<br />
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My definition of faith is trusting and believing in God or someone. It's not having proof that it will happen but still believe that it will. I can't pinpoint exactly when my faith walk started. However, if I am being transparent, my faith walk have sometimes ran in the opposite direction. It is a work in progress. I am just grateful that I have enough sense to recognize when faith or what I am believing for God allows me to see to come to pass.<br />
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I became a single mother exactly one month after I graduated from college. Looking back now, I realized I started applying my faith as a mother the day I discovered I was pregnant. My son was not planned BUT he was wanted from the very beginning. There was never any consideration of any alternatives. I am a strong believer God will never give you more than you can bear.<br />
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There were a few prayers I remember saying over the years. It wasn't like I said them every day, but God and I have conversations and He led me in the right directions. One of them was to break generational curses being repeated throughout my family. God also provided me with real tangible examples for my son to see and understand he had a greater purpose. The other prayer was to have a village to assist in the raising of my son. As a woman, I know I can't raise him to be a man. I can and did raise him to be a good person, to be respectful, and to do his best in everything. However, I am not silly enough to think I can raise a man. I was not equip for it.<br />
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The reason I had to have faith in God for those two requests is because I knew I could not fulfill them on my own. I come from a loving but underachieving family. I knew that I wanted my child to strive for excellence. Whenever he decided on some foolishness, we made a trip to my hometown. I would let him see how wrong decisions can take you down a road you do not want. That was a great motivator for him to get on track. Looking back, I see that is exactly what God does with us. He shows us situations from our or another's past to learn a lesson. He loves us so much that He does not want us to make the same mistakes.<br />
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My village deposited into him as well. They reinforced my beliefs and desires for his life. Many times God provided the right villager to handle situations or milestones. With teenagers, momma doesn't know what she is talking about many times...in a teenager's mind.<br />
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<b><i>Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.</i></b><br />
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This verse is the one I call the ultimate parent faith scripture. This is our or at least my biggest faith item. I have trained him up and set him free. My son is an 18 year old sophomore in college. My role has shifted to more of an advisory role. I know he has not attended church in his college city. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I was sitting in church and received a message from him. "What did pastor say? What is the title of today's lesson? I'm streaming service. I really miss catching him. I need to get up and log in." I think I smiled the remaining of the service. My faith in this area manifested with my son knowing AND doing what he needed to do. As a parent, I can't ask for anything more! <br />
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-28540365958669642302015-03-03T21:44:00.000-05:002015-03-03T21:51:58.019-05:00Day 10: OvercommitmentThis day really hit home for me and caused me to pause and really think about my current commitments and the ones I have made in the past. I thought about how I feel when I am overcommitted. There are two feelings that rush over me: overwhelmed and/or frustrated. Neither are good feelings to have festering inside.<br />
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I am proud to say that I have been doing a much better job of not overcommitting in the last couple of years. I have learned to say "No" or "I will try." Earth will continue to spin on its axis if I don't make or do everything! Its alright!!<br />
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Because "birds of a feather, flock together," I posted and tagged several friends on Facebook. They are just as guilty of doing and being everywhere. About a week ago, one of them asked me how did I learn how to slow down. She was even thinking about moving to a small town as a way to slow herself down. I told her that because I am a busy person, people assume I am busy and I don't correct them. I have at least one "do nothing" day a month. That consists of me moving from the couch to the loveseat throughout the day. I don't leave the house at all. Its my DVR and me! This allows me to recharge.<br />
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One of the author's questions is "why is overcommitting bad for us and for others?" For me, it physically makes me sick. It started in college but the doctors did not diagnose it until years later. When I am stress (usually from too many commitments), my body literally starts shutting down. I experience chest pains. They start as a dull pain, but increase in severity to feeling like a 400 pound person is standing on my chest. The cure.....sit my tail down and get some rest! The doctors suggested some medication. To me that was just some foolishness. If I can prevent it by sitting down and resting, then that is what I will do!<br />
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Overcommitting have other negative impacts as well. It causes anxiety, resentment, other feelings we can do without in our lives. When we overcommit, we usually can't do it all. Someone is left disappointed and we feel bad for not honoring our word. That is just not a good way to live! Eventually, people will stop asking or leaving us out of things.<br />
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One of the plan of actions the pastor recommend is consider my commitments and eliminate one commitment I have that is taking away from my other commitments. I took that to mean an ongoing commitment or a one time event. It was up for me to decide. As I am typing, I thought about a commitment I have for this summer. I am scheduled for several work related commitments with overlapping times. I was debating on how to handle it. I just decided on what to do. I will eliminate the last one I accepted. It causes the most conflict, takes up the most time, and produces the smallest results. After typing it, it sounds like a no brainer. However, I feel it is beneficial. That is why it was on the schedule. I guess I need to tell the powers to be to allow them time to make the necessary adjustments.<br />
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Another plan of action is to make one day this week an actual Sabbath Day. That means that you take the day to do nothing and recharge. This is my challenge to you! Will you do it? Can you do it? Leave me a comment or send me a message to let me know if you do it.<br />
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For those interested in the series, I have included the link for today's reflection <a href="http://gs4nj.org/giving-up-overcommitment/" target="_blank">Overcommitment</a>The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-85410181605754781692015-02-21T14:10:00.001-05:002015-02-21T14:10:44.385-05:00Day 3: Feelings of UnworthinessNo you did not miss Day 1 or Day 2. I never picked up the laptop to write. I started to get all overwhelmed because now I have 3 days to write about. Then, I just stop. Nobody told me I had to write about every day. Nobody said I had to go in order. I can write about those days on a Sunday when there is not a post. I can NOT write about it at all!!! I did read and thought about it. That is the purpose of this time of year.....reflection and spending time with Him.<br />
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Today is about giving up feelings of unworthiness. I think we all suffer from it from time to time. I am grateful that I don't suffer from it often or overall. Reading the questions to ponder, I know at this moment, I am not suffering from feeling unworthy. Now, don't get me wrong. There are things I can improve, but I am still worthy!<br />
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One of today's plan of action is for parents. It says "if you are a parent, make sure to tell your child how proud you are of them. Assure them that you love them for no other reason than the fact that they are your child. Assure them that no matter what mistakes they may make, you will always love them. This is how your Heavenly Father loves you."<br />
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This is the one spoke to me more than the other two. I thought about my interactions with my son and if I assured him that I love him no matter what. I do believe I have shown him that over the years, but I do plan to check in with him and ask. I am going to take it one step further and ask him is there any other ways I can show my unconditional love to and for him.<br />
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Each child is different and feels love in their own ways. It took me a few years to realize the words I use have a huge impact on his self image, confidence, and worthiness. I figured it out by his actions when I really attacked him verbally versus expressing my feelings. He confirmed it one day when we had a conversation about <a href="http://thegreen-eyedbandit.blogspot.com/2012/09/celebrating-life-through-love-languages.html" target="_blank">love languages</a>. (That is a totally different post.) That conversation reiterated a couple of things: there is power in the tongue and one of his languages is words of affirmation.<br />
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This series is really giving me a chance to examine past experiences and learn the lessons from it. I encourage you to check out the series and if you are willing, examine areas of your life. Today's post is a reflection from <a href="http://us5.campaign-archive1.com/?u=6185a319045826c409817edf7&id=db55314fb0&e=a6fd6432c7" target="_blank">40 Things to Give up for Lent.</a><br />
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-64643843990644590582015-02-20T10:12:00.000-05:002015-02-20T13:39:23.069-05:0040 Things to Give up for Lent<br />
One of my favorite people posted this picture on FaceBook.<br />
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But when I clicked on the <a href="http://gs4nj.org/40-things-the-give-up-for-lent-the-list/" target="_blank">link</a>, it explained each one in detail. I decided to sign up for the pastor's email list to receive the daily posts. It has been great and I am going to blog some of the days. I would say everyday, but we know I get distracted...LOL</div>
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SO go check out the site by clicking on the word link above and join me! Each posting includes scriptures, questions to consider, plans of action, and reflection. I am getting something out of each one of them. </div>
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By the way, one of my favorite bloggers, Serenity is having a faith series on her blog, <a href="http://livingmyfaith.org/?page_id=9" target="_blank">Living My Faith</a>. She will have guest bloggers discussing their faith in certain areas of their lives. It started on Wednesday. Go check it out too! </div>
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-65587779497116154932015-02-02T22:51:00.001-05:002015-02-02T22:52:00.546-05:002014 in Review - Visions and Strutting 2014I am not going to have 12 different posts on 2014. The beginning of the year was just adventurous. The next few posts will cover a few more things in a post.<br />
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In March, I hosted a couple of vision board parties. I facilitated one for my church Women's Ministry and another one with sistah friends.<br />
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There was one vision board virgin in the group of friends. She literally put on her board she wanted to go to Hawaii for her birthday later that month. She hadn't started planning it, but that was what she wanted to do. Guess what? She did it!<br />
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The ironic thing is I never completed a vision board for 2014. I vow to make one this year.<br />
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Another major event in March was the STRUT Awards. It is an awards program that honors regular women doing extrtaordinary things. The weekend is filled with events to empower, uplift women and young ladies. Women are recognized for their passion, drive, vision, compassion, and selflessness. 2014 was the year for teachers and yours truly was humbled to be one of the honorees.<br />
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Keisha Pooler gave the attendees an amazing free style poetic work. She literally had random people give her words and she weaved each word into a remarkable poem. I really wished I had recorded it. </div>
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The Art of Zion dance troupe performed a soul stirring dance that had everyone up on their feet. Many could not believe the talent of these middle and high school ladies. These ladies could easily be the next generation for Alvin Ailey! </div>
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The night ended with ladies strutted, shared, networked, empowered, and poured into one another. Great night for all! </div>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-62653996626941075832015-01-25T21:34:00.001-05:002015-01-25T21:38:59.228-05:002014 in Review - Part 2 Cruise EditionJanuary started off rough!!! But February was so much brighter! February 1st the doctor informed me the mass was non cancerous.<br />
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<span style="color: red; font-weight: bold;">STOP!!!! TIME FOR A PRAISE BREAK!!! </span>My prayers were answered. I prayed and God showed up. During most of that experience, I believed the results were going to come back negative for cancer. However, I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit that fear crept in from time to time. I am grateful my village was in place ready to assist me if I had to go on that journey.<br />
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With the good news, I was ready for February. My cousin moved to Atlanta from Cali. I was and am so glad she is here. She arrived a few days before our family cruise. My family knows how to have a good time. A few of my friends went with us a few years ago. One my favorite people and bloggers, LadyLee posted about her adventures <a href="http://ladylee35.blogspot.com/2009/06/happy-birthday-green-eyed.html" target="_blank">here</a>. This time, a few of my sister's coworkers went. They too had a ball.<br />
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This was a week long cruise. We made port stops in Cozumel, Mahogany Bay, Belize, and Cayman Islands. This is the first time I had been on a family cruise in a few years because of my teacher schedule. My family likes to go off season and I only have 1 break (in Feb) that works. We had a ball! I tell you my family have a bunch of comedians!!! It was never a dull moment.<br />
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These are shots from our stay at the Ritz before we headed to the ship. This was a huge contrast to the snow we had in Atlanta and Cleveland a few days before. We could not wait to get to warmer weather!<br />
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Below are some pictures from the Captain's Dinner<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Auntie Linda</td></tr>
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Every time we stepped off the boat it was an adventure! </div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">When was the last time you saw a pay phone?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Watching the dolphins</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sister infinity tats</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yeah, she killed that fish! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had all these gadgets to catch pictures. I am still waiting for the ones on this device. </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I really needed some shades! </td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sister love</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Daddy's girl</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our Tour Guide - He has 5 children and wants to have 20 total...Say what now?</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mahogany Bay</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My brother and sister - they had their own photo shoot</td></tr>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">They knew a Delta was on the ship</td></tr>
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-59001789716024000592014-12-31T01:17:00.001-05:002014-12-31T01:17:19.902-05:00Reaction and ReflectionThe last post was my first one in ages. Initially, I did not intend to write about my mammogram experience. Since I was doing my year in review, it was impossible for me not to write about it. It was the major thing going on in my life that month other than supporting my loved ones who were dealing with death. I really didn't know what to expect from other people. <div>
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Within the first hour, I received messages from two friends. One of them is literally going through it right now. She got her results yesterday afternoon. It felt good to be able to encourage her and share information I received. At that moment, I thought about my Delta niece who has beat osteosarcoma. One of the many profound things she said "This cancer is not about me. God is allowing this to happen to me for someone else." That is how I felt (minus actually having cancer). God allowed me to have that experience to be able to help someone else. </div>
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With me revealing a year later to the world, I heard "I can't believe you didn't tell me!" and "I didn't know you went through that!" I know and I am perfectly fine with it. Like I said in the previous post, I didn't want to worry anyone unless I had to do it. One of my mottos is pray for the best, but prepare for the worst. And that was what I did with this situation. I told key people I knew without a shadow of a doubt that God would see me through regardless of the results. I needed people to stand and agree with me that this was something I would be able to share with others. My Bible Study group checked on me during that time as well as my sorors and mom. I was well covered. And for that I can not express in words my gratitude. </div>
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Looking back to January 2014, I realize it was seeds being planted and other seeds being watered. I was reminded of my compassionate circle that includes my boss/soror/friend, other sorors, my family, church family, and other close friends. I am a firm believer we are responsible for our environment. I made a conscious decision years ago to surround myself with positive, compassionate, empathic people. People with a servant's heart. And for that I am grateful as well. </div>
The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-90747891281694050232014-12-30T05:35:00.001-05:002014-12-30T05:37:39.210-05:002014 in Review - Part 1There are 2 days left in this year. I think this is a great time to look back at my 2014. I will create another post on the lessons I learned or was reinforced.<br />
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<span style="color: red;">JANUARY</span><br />
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January started the year off rough. Every week there was at least one of my friends losing someone close to them including one of my sorors losing her daughter in a car accident. I just remembering praying for the death to stop. Logically I knew it had to end, but emotionally I was READY for it to end. Literally, I started praying that death in all forms (natural, marriages, relationships) would cease.<br />
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That same month I was dealing with my own personal health issue. I had a mammogram at the end of 2013. A mass was discovered and more tests were required to see if it was cancerous. Initially, I was fine, but as the days stretched out, I started to have doubt creep into my mind. I tried to keep busy and not focus on it. I never told Man-Child because I didn't want him to worry unnecessarily, especially since he was away at college.<br />
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The hardest part was all the confirmation appointments. Once the mass was originally found, they wanted me to get another mammogram with an ultrasound. Once those results came back confirming the mammogram, I needed to make another appointment with a surgeon for a confirmation ultrasound. Once I met with the surgeon he confirmed the results of the 1st ultrasound with another one, then you guess it....another appointment. This appointment was to perform a biopsy. Here is what he used on me.<br />
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This ordeal lasted about 6 weeks since I got the first bit of news the week before Christmas and couldn't get the next appointment until after the New Year. Initially, I only told my mother. As time passed, I told a few more people. One of the people I told was my good friend LadyLee. The same day I was told to contact a breast surgeon, she blogged about her experience with a abnormal mammogram. It took her over 6 months to share her <a href="http://ladylee35.blogspot.com/2014/01/year-in-review-suspicious-activity.html" target="_blank">story</a>. I know it was God who orchestrated that posting. LadyLee had been debating on when she was going to write about it. She literally posted it less than an before I checked her blog that day. I hadn't been to it in over a week. God made sure it was there right when I needed it. </div>
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I called her immediately. She was more than happy to share with me her experience in more detailed including her doctor and how he answered all of her million questions. (Lee is a trained chemist. As a scientist, she had many questions.) I asked for his name. Now, I already said this was orchestrated this experience. Her doctor was one of three names/facilities I was given. Based on her experience, I called and scheduled my appointment. </div>
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During this month, I did tell a few of my sorors who are more like family to me. They fussed at me for confiding in them sooner, but I felt we were dealing with enough stress with burying another soror's daughter and another soror's daughter was having surgery to remove her cancerous cells from her knee. Therefore, I didn't want to add any additional stress to them. They fussed but understood. They offered to go to my remaining appointments, but I hate to be a burden on anyone. I told them I was good. After the last ultrasound, I treated myself to lunch. </div>
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All of a sudden, I burst into tears. I didn't do the ugly cry, but the tears were flowing as I sat at the table. All I wanted to do was cancel my order, get in my car, and cry my heart out. All of a sudden, it hit me that I could possibly have breast cancer. I tried to enjoy my lunch but I couldn't. When I made it back to my car, I sat there and prayed to God that I would not have breast cancer. However, I would fight it with everything in me if it was the case. I was quickly reminded of those close to me who kicked cancer's a$$. If that was my fate, then I would too! I called Scooby who is a two time cancer survivor. She gave me some encouraging words and offered to go with me to my biopsy. I told her LadyLee had already agreed to go. She replied, "Don't be surprise if she is sitting in the waiting room." Our conversation put me at ease and reminded me that even though I don't have biological family here. I do have a family here that will be there for me. The love and support I received from my friends are invaluable. I continue to be grateful for them. </div>
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There were two more appointments left. The next one was the actual biopsy. That is when a needle with a syringe is placed inside the mass and pull/drain part of it out. Then it is sent off to determine if the mass is cancerous. In the middle off all of these appointments was the Snowstorm 2014! The city was shut down for a few days. This caused a delay for my results. Even though it was only another business day, it felt like eternity. Another friend, SoulSinger, accompanied me for the results. Headed there, I felt at peace. I knew that whatever the results were, I would be alright. I was covered. </div>
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THE RESULTS WERE NEGATIVE!!!!!</div>
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I was so thankful for it. I immediately called my mom and the handful of people who knew about my ordeal. That was the best news to start the month of February! </div>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-13009649793432580932014-12-28T16:25:00.001-05:002014-12-28T16:25:54.017-05:00Blog or not to Blog....that is the Question<br /><br />It seems like I have not blogged in forever. But why? There are several reasons.<br /><br /><br />I don't make the time. <br />I think there isn't enough time. <br />I don't know what to write about<br />I don't think it would be long enough<div>
<br />With all of these reasons excuses. I just decided to just start typing. I plan to commit to blogging again. I won't make any promises on how often or how long. I am just going to do better than what I have been doing. Why have a blog if you are not bloggin?! <br /><br /><br />For the few readers still checking in, what would you like for me to blog about?</div>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-49528502181689491942014-07-05T17:25:00.002-04:002014-07-05T17:25:52.150-04:00Random Thoughts....AGAINIt seems like I can't create post unless it random thoughts. So here goes!!<br />
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<li>Ummm the 1st sentence in this post is a random thought. LOL!</li>
<li>This year has been filled with death. I do mean in the natural kind. I knew at least one person who died each week for the first 6 weeks. Now it seems like it is picking up again. In the last month 3 people have died from some form of cancer or another. </li>
<li>We really need to take better care of ourselves and our love ones. Present company included. I am starting a boot camp on Monday to kick start my healthy living lifestyle change. I refuse to have to take medicine when I can prevent it from happening. I am glad I have some accountability partners. </li>
<li>I really really really need to create my vision board. I have been so busy helping others with theirs that I still don't have mine done.</li>
<li>3 weeks. That is all I have off this summer if I skip a week of training scheduled this month before school starts back at the end of the month. I really need a true vacation! </li>
<li>My barber is not really getting what I want as a hair cut. I am going to give him 1 more time to get it right. Its still cute but </li>
<li>There are so many trips I want to take next year with different groups. I need another full time job just to afford all of them. There is cruise with my bible study group, a Vegas trip with my line sisters, an all inclusive trip with my TC peeps, Essence with my bible study group and a trip with the Man-Child. </li>
<li> My small circle of friends push me pass my comfort zone. I am grateful for them. The things we come up with and the multiple conversations going on at the same time are insane sometimes. Its funny because we are able to follow them all.</li>
<li>Authentic friendships are the best.</li>
<li>I am still chewing on the message my pastor gave on Wednesday. I was convicted. His question was "are you touching and agreeing with someone for something that is good or bad?" He gave the example of you dapping up your friend and saying there are no good women out here. And you are responding with "ain't that the truth" or something else similar to it. Why do we do that?</li>
<li>Man-Child is growing and changing. Our relationship is too. We both have some more adapting to do where that is concern. </li>
<li>I have to find other streams of income. I have a few things in mind. I just need to get focus and make it happen. Details coming soon.</li>
<li>I had a conversation with some ladies about reinforcing positive images and messages to our youngsters. There are many children who do not hear "You are smart." or "You are beautiful" often or even at all. Today we agreed to start "You are beautiful" campaign. You can join too. Tell those around you how beautiful, smart, handsome, resourceful, thoughtful...insert any other positive adjective word. </li>
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The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1646257793193690082.post-51087280236685716622014-05-02T09:53:00.003-04:002014-05-02T09:53:56.205-04:00Five Friday Thoughts I stole this idea from <a href="http://ladylee35.blogspot.com/2014/04/ten-thursday-thoughts.html" target="_blank">LadyLee</a>. I have been wanting to blog but really didn't know what to post and did not want to take a lot of time to do it. So here we go with 5 random thoughts on this Friday.<br />
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1. I am really getting the entrepreneur bug. I have a couple of businesses in my mind. I started working on the major one, Each One Reach One College Tour. I have partnered with another teacher. We will have our first tour in October. I am so excited!!!!! We have to exposed our children to more than just their high school and neighborhood. There is a whole world out there and they need to start seeing it!!!<br />
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2. I am so looking forward to Summer Break!! I know many people think teachers have it made with our schedules. Let me enlighten you. Even though students have 8-10 weeks off during the summer, many teachers don't. Looking at my calendar, I have 3 weeks off this summer. <span style="color: red; font-weight: bold;">3 WEEKS. </span>Many teachers work summer school/summer camps, have workshops to attend or even classes to sharpen their skills.<br />
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3. My students are in the midst of their end of the year testing. This is the first year I have been nervous about their/my results. It seems like the desire to learn and grow are not there. It breaks my heart because I know how hard it is going to be for them if they don't change. I wish they could see it.<br />
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4. A little over a month ago, I changed my Facebook cover to big changes ahead.<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cH7BTr0iUj8/U2OfMfjOB9I/AAAAAAAAJWs/AlNoDVa-yow/s1600/Big-Changes.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cH7BTr0iUj8/U2OfMfjOB9I/AAAAAAAAJWs/AlNoDVa-yow/s1600/Big-Changes.jpg" height="131" width="200" /></a></div>
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Well, I noticed I have not worked on those changes. Its a new month. I need to get to working on them. I will start today! If I wait until tomorrow, Monday, next week, next month, next year, etc, it will never get done. There are so many areas I plan to change. I just need to prioritize and make it happen one by one. Some areas will impact the others. </div>
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5. Man-Child will be home from college in less than two weeks. Every time he came home for a weekend or break, I was able to see so much growth in him. I can't wait to see/hear his take on his first year in college. Freedom, schedules, campus life, college courses, earning and managing money. There is so much to talk about! Here is a picture from a weekend visit in October. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cVLVqKLKWeQ/U2OjA3oiagI/AAAAAAAAJW8/TlDEzqpqUnE/s1600/1186326_10201512435005478_1669066601_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cVLVqKLKWeQ/U2OjA3oiagI/AAAAAAAAJW8/TlDEzqpqUnE/s1600/1186326_10201512435005478_1669066601_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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That was fun! It didn't take me too long to do it. Maybe I will blog again soon! LOL!!!</div>
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<br />The Green Eyed Bandithttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03053318263586374732noreply@blogger.com3