10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I said I was going to do better. I know one day I will slow down and take the time to reflect AND write/type what I am feeling. ONE DAY. I love going back to read old blogs and remember what I was feeling at that time.

2. Someone tried to steal my Man-Child's identity. The crazy thing is I thought about telling him to run his credit about a month ago. Yesterday, I (meaning he) received a letter in the mail stating someone tried to file a tax return using his name. Well, obviously, the person wasn't that smart. They didn't use his correct government name. He will request all credit reports. This will be a great lesson on credit watching, credit building, and identity theft.

3. Its testing season in Georgia. Well I guess all over the country. This week is testing for my school. It is sure is different from testing in my old county. I am just going to leave it at that comment.

4. I need to get to writing my chapters in a book I am co-authoring with one of my college friends. We have already decided on the chapters of our book. We just need to write! This man has a great mind for money and business. We are writing a book geared to recent high school graduates and college students. When I get a goal, it is imperative for me to create a vision board to remind myself of my goals and dreams. Here is the vision board for the book.

5. Summer school and the next school year are heavily on my mind. I really want to see growth in the teachers I am coaching. This is by far the biggest impact and resource on our students. A great teacher can literally change or elevate the trajectory of a child. Of course I created a vision board for that as well!

6. I have a massive headache. This is the 2nd one in a week. I think its sinus related. I notice if I am not consistent with allergy medicine during this time of year, I have issues. This is the 1st year that my issues have been a headache though. It reminded me to take my medicine though! 

7. My guys have decided to spend the summer in Birmingham to work, workout, and take a class or two. They are entering their last full year of college. If I am honest, I feel some kind of way about it. I thought I would get to hang out with my guys this summer. I guess they are really (semi)grown. 

I know they don't look grown in this picture. They were clowning at their track meet that was local. I went and hung out with them for the day. 

8. The Detroit teachers had a blue out yesterday. They are protesting because their school district stated they ran out of money to pay them. I need to read more on this matter. I am confused how that happens. I know they have unions in the North as well. This is not good for all involved. 

9. I am in another challenge. Hopefully, I will be able to finish this one! Its 100 days of happiness. The premise is simple. We are responsible for our own happiness; therefore, we should find some happiness daily. Even when you are having a bad day, there is at least 1 thing that made you smile or brighten your day. Today is day 3. I am looking for the opportunity. 

10. Speaking of challenges, I need to get back posting my daily gratitude posts. I think I have NOT posted more than I have. Because I am a overcoming procrastinator and perfectionist, I don't post daily cause I don't have the right pictures or my words are not elaborate enough to post. I have to get pass my hangups and celebrate my friends while they are here. I like "giving flowers to the living."

Welp, that's it for now. Maybe I will post again before the month ends. 

Faith and Parenting

I was asked to contribute to Serenity's "Faith Series." During the Lenten Season, she has guests blogging about an area of faith. I was ask to write concerning faith and being a single mom. I have copied the post here. Feel free to read some other great stuff at Living My Faith. 

During this lenten season, we will have guests posts from other ladies who will share what faith means to them and how their faith impacts their lives. I asked Tiffany to write an article to share about faith as it relates to being a single mom. When I met Tiffany (through my blog), she was a mother to a son who may have been in middle or just beginning high school. She used to listen to my stories about Tyler and always give a word of advice based on her experience being in similar shoes. Her son is now a college athlete and a great young man. 

When Val asked me to be a guest blogger, I was honored but felt  a little unworthy. I was not sure what I would say. I even sent her a response saying just that because my faith walk is nowhere near where I think it should. However, I agreed for a couple of reasons. First, I know my friends see things in me that I don't see immediately. I knew if I sat for a minute and ask God to bring back to my remembrance, I could write something that could possibly help someone. Secondly, it is NOT about me. My life is a testimony or an example for someone else. Who am I to NOT share?

So here we go!

My definition of faith is trusting and believing in God or someone. It's not having proof that it will happen but still believe that it will. I can't pinpoint exactly when my faith walk started. However, if I am being transparent, my faith walk have sometimes ran in the opposite direction. It is a work in progress. I am just grateful that I have enough sense to recognize when faith or what I am believing for God allows me to see to come to pass.

I became a single mother exactly one month after I graduated from college. Looking back now, I realized I started applying my faith as a mother the day I discovered I was pregnant. My son was not planned BUT he was wanted from the very beginning. There was never any consideration of any alternatives. I am a strong believer God will never give you more than you can bear.

There were a few prayers I remember saying over the years. It wasn't like I said them every day, but God and I have conversations and He led me in the right directions. One of them was to break generational curses being repeated throughout my family. God also provided me with real tangible examples for my son to see and understand he had a greater purpose. The other prayer was to have a village to assist in the raising of my son. As a woman, I know I can't raise him to be a man. I can and did raise him to be a good person, to be respectful, and to do his best in everything. However, I am not silly enough to think I can raise a man. I was not equip for it.

The reason I had to have faith in God for those two requests is because I knew I could not fulfill them on my own. I come from a loving but underachieving family. I knew that I wanted my child to strive for excellence. Whenever he decided on some foolishness, we made a trip to my hometown. I would let him see how wrong decisions can take you down a road you do not want. That was a great motivator for him to get on track. Looking back, I see that is exactly what God does with us. He shows us situations from our or another's past to learn a lesson. He loves us so much that He does not want us to make the same mistakes.

My village deposited into him as well. They reinforced my beliefs and desires for his life. Many times God provided the right villager to handle situations or milestones. With teenagers, momma doesn't know what she is talking about many times...in a teenager's mind.


       Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

This verse is the one I call the ultimate parent faith scripture. This is our or at least my biggest faith item. I have trained him up and set him free. My son is an 18 year old sophomore in college. My role has shifted to more of an advisory role. I know he has not attended church in his college city. However, I was pleasantly surprised when I was sitting in church and received a message from him. "What did pastor say? What is the title of today's lesson? I'm streaming service. I really miss catching him. I need to get up and log in." I think I smiled the remaining of the service. My faith in this area manifested with my son knowing AND doing what he needed to do. As a parent, I can't ask for anything more!

Day 3: Feelings of Unworthiness

No you did not miss Day 1 or Day 2. I never picked up the laptop to write. I started to get all overwhelmed because now I have 3 days to write about. Then, I just stop. Nobody told me I had to write about every day. Nobody said I had to go in order. I can write about those days on a Sunday when there is not a post. I can NOT write about it at all!!! I did read and thought about it. That is the purpose of this time of year.....reflection and spending time with Him.

Today is about giving up feelings of unworthiness. I think we all suffer from it from time to time. I am grateful that I don't suffer from it often or overall. Reading the questions to ponder, I know at this moment, I am not suffering from feeling unworthy. Now, don't get me wrong. There are things I can improve, but I am still worthy!

One of today's plan of action is for parents. It says "if you are a parent, make sure to tell your child how proud you are of them. Assure them that you love them for no other reason than the fact that they are your child. Assure them that no matter what mistakes they may make, you will always love them. This is how your Heavenly Father loves you."

This is the one spoke to me more than the other two. I thought about my interactions with my son and if I assured him that I love him no matter what. I do believe I have shown him that over the years, but I do plan to check in with him and ask. I am going to take it one step further and ask him is there any other ways I can show my unconditional love to and for him.

Each child is different and feels love in their own ways. It took me a few years to realize the words I use have a huge impact on his self image, confidence, and  worthiness. I figured it out by his actions when I really attacked him verbally versus expressing my feelings. He confirmed it one day when we had a conversation about love languages. (That is a totally different post.) That conversation reiterated a couple of things: there is power in the tongue and one of his languages is words of affirmation.

This series is really giving me a chance to examine past experiences and learn the lessons from it. I encourage you to check out the series and if you are willing, examine areas of your life. Today's post is a reflection from 40 Things to Give up for Lent.
  

Football season officially ended for Baby Bandit yesterday. He has one more high school season. It was bitter sweet for me though. My first high school teaching experience started as a long term sub teaching primarily sophmore math classes. Well, these are my "first babies" in my book and they are seniors now. **tear** it was a tough season for my boys and it is my 1st real sense of their high school career coming to an end. Most of them do not play a winter or spring sport. Essentially, they are done playing high school ball. I did not even get a picture of them before the season was over. Every time I brought my camera to the game, they lost. I know from past experience, the boys do not want to talk let alone take some dog gone pictures. So I will settle for taking pictures with them at the banquet.



Now that football season is over, Baby Bandit has basketball tryouts on Monday. He is a little nervous because of his experiences from last year. He was even contemplating not trying out. However, I am teaching him we do not operate in fear. We had to have a heart to heart about not trying something new or doing something because he is scared of the worst possible outcome. Yes, he may not make the team. However, what do you have to lose. IF YOU DON'T TRYOUT, then you will DEFINITELY NOT MAKE THE TEAM. But if you try out, then you have a chance to make it. In his case, he has a good chance to make it. He did not make it last year, but it was a blessing in disguise. It taught him he has to go out and work hard at all times. The other lesson is you have to regroup, evaluate, and make changes. Because he did not play basketball, he did start running track to stay in shape for football and loved it! I tried to get him to do it for years.

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I started this posting a few weeks ago. I just hate starting something and not finishing it. So I just decided to continue where I left off.

Baby Bandit made the basketball team. He is on JV, but has the potential to be on the Varsity. Well, if he get his grades together. He is eligible to play by the official standards for student-athletes BUT they are not up to par for GEB. I took his current grades to his coach. The coached asked him for his jersey and told him he will see him when his grades is back to my standards (nothing lower than a 85%). He went on to tell him how important grades are and how they will get him much further than his athletic ability. He had an attitude but he knows he brought it on himself. Since we are on Thanksgiving break, he has enough time to complete all of his missing assignments.  He is too smart for this foolishness. IF it is too much, then he knows what he has to give up. If time management is an issue, then he needs to ask for help. I have offered guidance but he does not want it. So he has to figure it out. The joys of the teenage years!

Time Flies

I just realized I only posted twice in August and none in September. I guess I have not adjusted to the new schedule as much as I like. So this is another checking in blog. I think I will do that for awhile. Nothing earth shattering or even on one topic but a bunch of a little of this and a little of that.

Football season is upon us. Baby Bandit (Man-Child) had a breakout game last week. Two interceptions, one reception touchdown, and played almost every down on offense, defense, and special team.  His confidence level has shot straight up. They are 1 - 0 and I am excited about going to the games this year. He has a little fan club now planning to show up to his games.

The start of NFL football has started. My Steelers looked horrible against the Ravens. I hope this is not a long season for us. 

School As mentioned another post, school started on August 1st. This year's students are not the same as last. I am not sure if that is good or bad. The verdict is still out. I started my last leg of my MEd on September 1st. I am doing my student-teaching in my own classroom with observations. I am done on December 22nd. Thank you Jesus!!!!

College visits Baby Bandit is not realizing time is ticking! We meaning he need to start visiting colleges and narrow down some school choices. He has the smarts to go anywhere. However, discipline and drive plays a big part too. We had a real heart to heart about what does he want and need in a school. I made him think about his high school career. What classes did he enjoy the most and why. I had him think about the differences between similar classes such as English 1, English 2, and English 3. What did he like about one class over the other. He discovered he likes smaller classes. We already know he loves his math classes. Also, he likes having discussions in class. This exercise led him to realize he need a smaller college.

He knows he wants to play sports in college. I am all for dreaming big, but I also believe in a big dose of reality. He is not the next Hines Ward, so UGA, Miami U or any other big Division 1 school is an option if he wants to play and not ride the bench. There are several factors working against him. First, he graduates at the age of 16. That is putting him 2 to 3 years younger than the typical football player entering college. Second, he is a good player, but he is not a great player. Plus, as stated earlier, he wants and needs small classes. This sounds like a HBCU is in our future. We are visiting Tuskegee later this month.

Homecoming Its that time of the year. Homecoming is just a month away. One of my roommates is coming for the 1st time ever. I am so looking forward with hanging out with her and her hubby. It is the same weekend as homecoming at the high school too. The boys already know outside of their game, don't look for me to be momma that weekend.

Delta -  I will become active this year. I am shame to say I have been inactive for years. I talked about becoming active for years. I feel guilty when I hear about or read about the work my sorors are doing. I made a life long commitment. I need to honor it!

Friends I have not spent quality time with them, but I have thought about them often. I hope they know I do miss spending quality time with them. I plan to do better.

Last Weekend - New Experiences - Quinceanera

A uneventful weekend. Just what I needed. Baby Bandit only had 2 events this weekend - Friday night football and a community service project on Saturday afternoon.

Last weekend, we were literally out late every night. He participated in a friend's quinceanera. (Click on the word for an explanation of what a quince entails.) The short explanation is a rites of passage for 15 year old Latina girls. It includes a mass service and a reception. It is similar to a bar mitzvah in the Jewish community. I was honored she asked BB to participate. Because I know the significance of this event, it lets me know her friendship with him is valuable to her. Also, he was able to experience something I would never be able to give him. We are not Hispanic; therefore, we will never have a quince in our family.

A traditional quinceanera takes alot of planning. The planning is similar to a wedding. There is a ceremony and them a reception that are very similar to a wedding. BB had to pick up his tux and rush to rehearsal right after school on Friday night. He did not make it home until after midnight. Like a wedding, the party had to be in place about an hour before the ceremony. The mass was beautiful even though we (my son and I) could not understand a word. The entire service was in Spanish. Later, I realized some of her family members do not speak English. At the reception, whenever someone spoke they said it in both Spanish and English. The reception lasted until 10PM. I left BB at the reception after being there for a couple of hours.

  I was hoping I had many pictures to share but here is one of the birthday girl and one of Baby Bandit.

It was definitely an experience he will never forget. Both Dee and her parents were very appreciative he was willing to come to all the dance rehearsals, help with setups, and just being a part in their special day. I am just glad he is building quality relationships with quality people.