Six Sunday Sentiments

1. I am such a horrible blogger. Who only blogs a handful of times year?

2. I think I am turning into my mother. Growing up we had friends and cousins moved in with us. Apparently, I have that gene. So far Man-Child's best friend, one of my former basketball players, my niece, and my nephew have lived with me at one time or other.  

3. The new school year has started. It is wearing me out! Most of my administration is new with new ideas. One thing is for sure, my coaching time is protected. The principal hired 2 additional academic coaches. So I am excited about being able to learn so much from them. My coaching vision board will become a reality. 

4. Football season is here! I am spending my Friday under the lights and Saturdays traveling to see my Man-Children. 

5. When I first started this post, I just knew I had so much to talk about. I am struggling to come up with 6! 

6. I am really trying to become more organize. I am creating a coach's notebook to plan my days. I am creating a chore chart for my nephew. We made a deal that he will earn $1 each day nobody has to remind him to do his chores. I am going to create one for myself as well for the chores I want to do on certain days. I had a meme that have daily chores. I need to find and print it out. 

Whew! I got through it. Now off to bed! 

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I said I was going to do better. I know one day I will slow down and take the time to reflect AND write/type what I am feeling. ONE DAY. I love going back to read old blogs and remember what I was feeling at that time.

2. Someone tried to steal my Man-Child's identity. The crazy thing is I thought about telling him to run his credit about a month ago. Yesterday, I (meaning he) received a letter in the mail stating someone tried to file a tax return using his name. Well, obviously, the person wasn't that smart. They didn't use his correct government name. He will request all credit reports. This will be a great lesson on credit watching, credit building, and identity theft.

3. Its testing season in Georgia. Well I guess all over the country. This week is testing for my school. It is sure is different from testing in my old county. I am just going to leave it at that comment.

4. I need to get to writing my chapters in a book I am co-authoring with one of my college friends. We have already decided on the chapters of our book. We just need to write! This man has a great mind for money and business. We are writing a book geared to recent high school graduates and college students. When I get a goal, it is imperative for me to create a vision board to remind myself of my goals and dreams. Here is the vision board for the book.

5. Summer school and the next school year are heavily on my mind. I really want to see growth in the teachers I am coaching. This is by far the biggest impact and resource on our students. A great teacher can literally change or elevate the trajectory of a child. Of course I created a vision board for that as well!

6. I have a massive headache. This is the 2nd one in a week. I think its sinus related. I notice if I am not consistent with allergy medicine during this time of year, I have issues. This is the 1st year that my issues have been a headache though. It reminded me to take my medicine though! 

7. My guys have decided to spend the summer in Birmingham to work, workout, and take a class or two. They are entering their last full year of college. If I am honest, I feel some kind of way about it. I thought I would get to hang out with my guys this summer. I guess they are really (semi)grown. 

I know they don't look grown in this picture. They were clowning at their track meet that was local. I went and hung out with them for the day. 

8. The Detroit teachers had a blue out yesterday. They are protesting because their school district stated they ran out of money to pay them. I need to read more on this matter. I am confused how that happens. I know they have unions in the North as well. This is not good for all involved. 

9. I am in another challenge. Hopefully, I will be able to finish this one! Its 100 days of happiness. The premise is simple. We are responsible for our own happiness; therefore, we should find some happiness daily. Even when you are having a bad day, there is at least 1 thing that made you smile or brighten your day. Today is day 3. I am looking for the opportunity. 

10. Speaking of challenges, I need to get back posting my daily gratitude posts. I think I have NOT posted more than I have. Because I am a overcoming procrastinator and perfectionist, I don't post daily cause I don't have the right pictures or my words are not elaborate enough to post. I have to get pass my hangups and celebrate my friends while they are here. I like "giving flowers to the living."

Welp, that's it for now. Maybe I will post again before the month ends. 

“DON’T DATE SINGLE MOTHERS AND DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THEM” Part 1 Rebuttal

This article was posted in one of my groups in FB. Usually, I would read and just shake my head. However, I could not get past this one. Maybe because I think there is a huge difference between being a single mother and being a baby mama. Some don't see a difference. I do. This was the case way before I even became a single mother.

When I read the article, I immediately started writing a rebuttal in the comment section. However, I was breaking one of my FB rules, "No blogging in the comment section." So since I didn't want to break my rule. I made a simple comment, "I don't agree and I will blog about it."

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.

I wouldn't say "never available" but I would say she schedules her time, especially her free time, more than most. Her ability to be spontaneous is limited to honoring her schedule with the needs and wants of her children. If she has children who are active in extra curricular activities (practices, games, meets, meetings, etc) then that carves into her limited time. She has LIMITED availability not NO availability. That should not discredit her desire to spend time with you. It causes you all to be creative on when you can spend time together. You may have to meet while the children are at practice for a walk around the park or a cup of coffee at the nearby bookstore or coffee shop. She may only have about an hour to carve out during the week. Capitalize on her free every other weekend when the children are with their father. If something is wrong  (sick or some other major problem) with her children is the main reason she will cancel dates (not see you) at the last minute. If she is exhausted from her week, then she would suggest doing something at home versus going out to spend time with you.

2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.

You are not the FIRST priority but you are a priority IF you are in a relationship. I think the author was exaggerating a bit with being a priority behind "the kitchen sink and the stopped up toilet"; however, if not, then a man can assist/help/fix that problem. Men love to solve problems. These are simple problems/priorities to fix to eliminate you feeling like you are not a priority. Here's an added benefit. She will feel like a priority TO you if you help her with her other priorities. Many women are interested in you will do what they can to be with you. However, they have to make sure their children are good. How would you feel if she is spending time with you and there are things she is neglecting to make her life and her children's life comfortable? If she becomes your wife, she will have this same logic or trait in your daily combined world.

3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.

This is soooooooo far from the truth! She does not EXPECT you to drop EVERYTHING but she does expect you to understand her time is limited. Read #1. If you want more time, just understand it will include family time because she is a package deal. I know many women who do not bring random men around her children. So if you are not solidified as a couple, she will probably limit your time around her children anyway. Again, see #1. She will probably expect you to be more flexible with your time if you do not have physical custody or share physical custody of your children.

4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.

In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.

Ummm....yeah if she is holding a torch for her children's father, then yeah that's a problem. If the children are young, I would even say you need to make sure she is emotionally over him. This is true with any woman whether she has children or not. Heck, it's true for men as well. I think everyone should take a break before jumping into a new relationship. Everyone need time to purge the old love from his or her system. Take time to deal with the baggage that comes from a failed relationship or marriage. Don't think JUST time heals the pain. Time with dealing with the baggage makes a person ready to move one.

5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.

Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.

For some that is the case, especially if they have not dealt with their baggage. However, I have noticed this is not the case when both parties have truly moved on. Normally, when the woman without any shadow of a doubt is done with her child(ren)'s father(s), then this is not a situation that is not easily handled. For the child sake, I would hope the dad is around to co-parent their child but that should be the extent of their relationship. Is that a reality? Absolutely! I have lived it and watched others do it as well.

There were 15 things on the list. I will continue the other 10 in future posts. I didn't want to make this post extremely long. The original article was long by itself. 

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I really need to blog more. I have ideas but either I don't have the time or think I can't expand on it long enough for a decent blog.

2. I am loving my Grateful366 campaign. I have several friends who have taken the challenge of posting a gratitude dedicated to someone for the entire year.

3. My new gig is INTERESTING. There is a lot of adjustment on my part and theirs. I literally have a 3 page to-do list from the state liaison to get us where we need to be. I keep saying "baby steps, baby steps" and "As long as there is some progress, then its progress."

4. My chants from #3 did not work for me yesterday. Today WILL be a better day.

5. Since my day was not pleasant yesterday, I took my happiness into my own hands and started creating and gathering pictures and quotes for my 2 newest vision boards.

6. Speaking of vision boards, I created a new on Sunday. Southern Belle invited me to the country to work on them with some of her family and friends. We had a great time!

 7. My shirt got a lot of love! Hopefully, my friends will support Gimme a Bling and purchase this one or others. She does quality work and none of her shirts have messy or negative sayings.

8. The month of January went by pretty fast. I don't know if that means I am getting old or I am enjoying my days. I am going to go with option 2. 

9. This year's theme at church is "Dream Again". As confirmation, several of my friends have reignited our group to push some of our dreams. I will help a friend with his dream/goal of writing a book. I am hashing out the plans for an adventure as well. (Vision boards are in progress for each)

10. I think the "10 Thoughts Posts" are becoming a routine around these parts. They are quick to do.