Thursday, July 7, 2011

Dating and Courting

Dating and courting. Is there a difference or is it the same thing? For many people the words are interchangeable. Courting is not a word I use often but I believe there's a difference between the two words.

Dating - initial stage of getting to know one another. This consists of verbal conversations (not texting, emailing, or IMing as the major form of communication). In addition, quality time is spent doing activities together. This phase is not necessarily exclusive to one person.

Courting - During the courting stage, the relationship is exclusive. At this point, the two individuals are committed to determining if they will have a long term relationship, in many cases potentially leading to marriage. 

Now these are my personal definitions. I do not require anyone to accept my definitions. However, I do expect any potential mates to understand my definitions. I think part of the problem with dating is people do not express their definitions and expectations. Then we are upset, mad, etc because the other person should have known. I am not saying divulge everything on day one, but healthy and necessary conversations are in order.

With all that being said, I really have never dated. I usually start spending time with one person and it goes straight to courting. In my 20 years of adult life, I have had three dating/courting relationships. These relationships lasted over 12 years. 

The rest of my adult life included limited dating. I can admit part of it is me. I am old fashion. Therefore, I am not approaching a man. Over the years, I have admired men closely and from afar. However, I will not volunteer my attraction or desire to possibly pursue something more. In return, most of them have fallen into **cue the Twilight Zone music** the "Friend Zone". 

Another reason I have been told over the years is people think I am in a relationship or married. I don't wear a ring on my left ring finger ever. So I don't see why one would think I am married. I know many people do not wear a ring, but most married women do and I would if I was married. I have been told I act like I am in a relationship. What does that mean? Cause I don't drool or chase after any available man? Not too sure on that one. Is it because I keep busy with all the other wonderful things I have going on in my life, such as my son, friends, family, work, and hobbies? 

I have decided I am ready to actively date. I am still not sure how to just get out there and do it. However, I am open to seeing what this adventure will look like.


  1. Hey G.E.B. first let me say I enjoy your blog.

    The order of things is not for you to search for or find a man. You just have to make yourself available to be found. There are atleast 2 bible verses that support this:
    (New King James version)
    Proverbs 18:22
    He who finds a wife finds a good thing,And obtains favor from the LORD.

    Proverbs 31:10
    [ The Virtuous Wife ] Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.

    So those women that you speak of that are chasing and throwing themselves are out of order. Sure they get noticed but most are not valued as "rubies". Easy come easy go. The one that is found is the one that is treasured. Also the chasers and throwers make men lazy. Why after you done chased and thrown you whine about the bum you with. If you had been found by someone that was willing to search and dig. He would have more value in you. Keep doing you and you will be found and treasured :-)

  2. @a83894ae-aaf4-11e0-acce-000bcdca4d7a

    Thank you! I am glad you are enjoying it. I just saw your comment. I totally agree with you. That is why I just keep a low profile.


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