Dismissed Dreams

A few years ago, I read a post from one of my high school friends, Tish. "Never underestimate the power of a dismissed dream. I think there must be a place inside of us where dreams go and wait their turn." ~ Sue Monk Kidd

When she posted it, I reflected on that post for a week and let it wake up some dreams in me. I think so many times people, due to life circumstances, bury and forget about their dreams and passions. Unfortunately, sometimes they die incomplete. It is sad to think of all the wasted talent that people have that is never supported, encouraged, or pursued.

I've decided to pursue some of those dreams. I don't want to be part of the would've, could've, should've club.

What dreams do you need to dust off?

Lunches and Goals

This week is Spring Break for me. This is the break I utilize to rest and this year is no different. My typical Spring break activities made the to do list: purge, clean the garage, meet up with others for lumch, workout. It is safe to say, the only thing I got done on the traditional list is meeting up with friends. I had 2 lunch dates this week. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my friends. I didn't even think about getting a picture from the 1st lunch. I almost didn't get one from the second lunch. Tasha stopped in the parking lot to get our picture!

Both lunches were filled with great conversations and catching up. It was great to go to lunch AND  without watching the clock to rush back. Tasha and I actually shut down La Petite Marche! I can't wait for summer break to enjoy long lunches with great conversations!

Even though my normal to-do list was basically ignored. This break was a great time for me to recharge and reflect. One the first day of my break, I stopped and took a good look at my 45 goal wall. It had become wall decorations or background. I passed it daily but haven't focused on it at all in 2018. In fact, I actually completed a goal and didn't even realize it. At this point, I should be 75-80% done with it. I have about 20% of the goals completed. I hae about 30-35% in progress and the rest I have not even started. The good thing is many of them can be completed within 30-45 days once I start them. I am not going to be distraught if I don't hit my June deadline. As long as I am making progress, I am a happy camper!

I took this time to refocus on my goals. This post makes the 2nd one in 3 days to get me closer to blogging 45 times within a year. I would need to post at least every other day to make it. I think I may can pull it off if I don't overthink my postings.

Talking with Tasha and receiving her new book, has motivated me to write my book I talked about 7 years ago. It is not the book I was thinking about when I set a goal to write a book. I was talking to my line sister about it. Literally, in less than two minutes we had the format for it done! I just need to get it on paper! She has given me a deadline of April 30th. So I need to get to typing!

Some other things in the works are drinking water as the only beverage, no fast foods, and no sweets for 45 days. I am starting that tomorrow. I knew I needed to do it. At brunch today, one of the ladies gave a challenge of doing better with our eating and taking care of ourselves. There is no reason why not to start tomorrow! I decided to do the 10 day smoothie challenge to jump start my better eating part. I have been saying for awhile I was going to do it. I finally bit the bullet. I went out to get everything I need for the 1st 5 days of it. I speak no irritibility this week!

So as I prepare for my work week, I look forward to slaying goals over the next couple of months!

Living Your Dream

I asked someone. " How are you doing?" Her response, "Living the dream!" That's not something you hear often. So it had me thinking. Am I living my dream? Are others around me living their dreams?

Are you able to say you are living the dream? If the answer is a resounding, "Yes!" I am so happy for you. Are there any new dreams?

If you answered, "No", then why not? What is holding you back from making that statement? Take some time to examine your life to see what transformations (changes) you need to make to be living YOUR dream.

Here are some questions to get you started:

• Do you enjoy your work life? This is where you spend most of your time when you are awake. You are getting ready for work, traveling to work, work, and traveling back home. If your work life is not good, it is probably impacting other parts of your life. 
• What do you like about your current career? What don't you like about it? Create a list. Is it time for a career change or just a company change? Or are you happy where you are doing what you are doing?
• What do you like about your current personal life? What don't you like? How can you change it? Are you willing to change it? It's your life. You only get one! Make it your best life! 
• Do you need to spend more time with God to figure out who you are?
• Do you know your gifts?
• Do you need more training or education? It does not necessarily mean getting a degree. A class or certification maybe all that is needed.
• What are you willing to do without getting paid?
• What do you do that makes your heart smile?

Hopefully these questions will get your wheels turning so you too can say, "I am living the dream!"

Girls' Getaway - 2017

One of my 45 goals was to take a girls' trip/getaway. Literally as I was putting that goal on my vision wall, some of my friends and I was messaging back and forth. Before my wall was done, we had our trip outline for Savannah in August. Just that quick, a goal was progressing before the official 45th birthday.

I have big ideas but the details.....yeah, I need someone else to handle it. Then just tell me what I need to do! I am so glad this group have 2 detail oriented people. Ms. Organize did an awesome job with squaring away our lodging from getting a suite to finding a home to rent for the same amount. This allowed us to have the comforts of home away from home.

Another person suggested we bring small gifts for each other.  Ms. Organized has these cute boxes waiting on us when we arrived. She took the day off to visit family and arrived to Savannah before the rest of us. We didn't open them until the next day though.

We spent the 1st night get hanging at the house and talking. It was just a perfect time to just be away and leave our lives back in Metro Atlanta and Macon.

The next day, it was time to get out and see Savannah! First stop, brunch! We down to The Riverfront to find some seafood. Of course we had to take pictures galore.

 

Several of us had one thing that she wanted to do. For me, it was going on the African-American Tour and Civil Rights Museum. I went on it before about 15 years ago and knew I enjoyed it. Thankfully, my friends indulged me and we had a great time. It started raining during the tour. I'm glad we decided to take the riding tour instead of the walking tour! 

The guy in the flyer was our actual guide

Sanctuary of the oldest African American church in America - First African Baptist Church

Civil Rights Museum in Savannah

Our Tour Guide 

Taking pictures and giving ourselves our own tour before the tour

Organ in 1st African Baptist Church 

Soldiers memorial 

Soldiers memorial 

Literally holes in the floor to signal safe passage via The Underground Railroad

One of our gifts from our gift exchange

After we finished our tour, we were definitely ready for some more seafood! Ms. Organized's sister recommended the place. It was a hole in the wall, but we know those are the places with the best food! We stopped by another spot to pick up some wings too. Once back at our place, we talked, laughed, and had a good time! I wish I had some of the pictures from that night! Ms. Organized's sister came over. She easily fell right in with the group with our conversations. We all agreed she is invited on our next Girls Vacation.

Overall, we had a great weekend. Getting away and reconnecting in real life is just what we needed. Accomplishing one of my goals on my 45 wall was an added bonus!  

Crushing Goals in the First Month

Disclaimer: I started writing this post the last week of July. I have been busy with returning to school and completing goals, that I have not taken the time to sit down to finish. It's time for the next update. LOL! 

As many of you know, I am in the midst of completing 45 goals by June, 2018. During the first month, I have been able to complete 3 goals, planned 2 goals, and have 5 other goals in progress. 

The Infamous Vision Wall

The first goal completed was establishing an educational mentor. I had a couple people in mind who could possibly fulfill this role. The first person I spoke to about being my mentor is my college friend, Tasha. We have been keeping tabs on each other since our college days. Our lives have many similarities including both of us becoming teachers as a second career. 

Our boys are in a leadership program together. They had an event and I went to pick up my son one evening from Tasha's home. I told her about my vision wall and the goals. I asked her to become my educational mentor. She was hesitant at first. However, I was able to convince her to do it. She has been an unofficial mentor anyway. She agreed and told me she was going to push me. 

2 of the 3 goals completed in the 1st 30 days

It wasn't quite June 20th. So I hadn't posted my wall yet, even though it was done. I already had one of my goals completed! YAY!!!! As you can see the card was changed to a white card. As I complete the goals, the card is changed to white with the date of completion.

As you can see, I also received my passport. It came in the mail while I was home on vacation. It was officially the 2nd goal I completed. Now, it is time to book some out of the country trips.

Goal 3 done! 

This summer has been hectic. I worked almost every day in June. Who said teachers have the summer off? With that pace, I knew the only way to take a break was to leave town. I went home for almost 3 weeks. I have not been home that long since being in college. It made it very easy to crush my goal of visiting 2 childhood friends. I actually saw 6 people and NOT the 2 I just knew I would see. I was so busy enjoying home, that I did not take pictures with all 6 people, but I did get two with my protectors.

In addition to completing 3 goals, I have made some progress on a few more. 

Planned: Girls' Getaway in August and New York Broadway show in January
In Progress: Gratitude Posts, Writing a Book, Purge part of the garage, Blog 45 times, Google Classroom Certified
I can't wait to report next month's growth! I know at least 2 more will be completed and more progress on a few others! Let's go! Let's go!!!!!

Vision Goal - African American Museums

One of the goals on the Vision Wall is to visit at least 5 African American museums in the 45th year of life. Immediately, I thought of three I could visit with some ease. There's the fairly new Center for Civil and Human Rights Museum in Atlanta. I've been wanting to visit it since it opened. There's the National Underground Railroad Freedom Center in Cincinnati, Ohio. I've told myself that I would stop on one of my rides home, but never did it. It's a must! Then there's the Birmingham Civil Rights Institute. I plan to make it a weekend when I visit Man-Child at school.

As I was discussing my wall with one of my friends, she mentioned the center in Macon. That is not too far from me and we have another friend who lives there. It is the Tubman Museum. If I remember correctly, my friend in Macon mentioned it as well. So that means it's time for a trip to Macon. I probably will head there in September. 

There are a few places I would love to revisit for a renewed appreciation. There is the Apex Museum and the Hammonds House both in Atlanta. I don't think I have visited either place since I graduated from college. I need to change it. In fact, I need to spend the day just exploring that area of town all over again. I was in the area on Saturday and made the comment to my line sister. We needed to be tourists right there in all that history. I could visit more than 5 historical sites just in a 5 mile radius of our meeting place. 

As I was creating this blog, I googled and found a great list of museums if you are interested. You may have a gem in your own backyard to explore. Or you may even find a reason to visit a nearby city.  

Just for my Dancing Diva, I have a timeframe for this goal. I plan to complete this one in the 3rd quarter. So, check on me by September 30th! 

Ordered Steps

Many of my non-virtual friends know I started a new position right after the Thanksgiving break 2015. I kept meaning to write about it over the holidays. It is a great example of the manifestation of having goals and a vision board.

Habakkuk 2:2-3 states Then the Lord answered me and said, "Write the vision. And engrave it plainly on [clay] tablets so that the owner who reads it will run. For the vision is yet for the appointed [future] time. It hurries toward the goal [of fulfillment]; it will not fail. Even though it delays, wait [patiently] for it, because it will certainly come; it will not delay. (Amplified Version)

In late October, I received a text from a former coworker, "Hey! Are you still interested in being a math coach?" I hadn't heard from this friend in a few months. He had taken a promotion in another county. I replied, "Yep, or a graduation coach position." He quickly replied, "I'm at an assistant principal's meeting. Another school is looking for a math coach. Send her your resume'. I can guarantee you an interview. You will have to win the job!" ORDERED STEP

I immediately called him to get the details. Apparently, he was talking with one of his frat brothers. Since they are Omega men and I am a Delta, he was asking the other AP did he know me. In the description of me, he stated I was a math teacher and coach (basketball) at his old high school. The words "math" and "coach" peaked the ears of a woman sitting at the next table. She was another AP at a different high school. She was looking for a math coach. She was looking for a strong math teacher or a math coach. They had a conversation that prompted his initial text to me.

I sent her my resume'. As soon as she read it, she sent me an email for three different possible interviewing days. Since I had an appointment on one of those days, I took the day off to handle both. I shared the information with my assistant principal. She wished me the best and wrote a glowing reference. ORDERED STEP

I went to the interview with the mindset of this will be a great chance to take notes on the type of questions to expect in future interviews. This was the 1st time I have interviewed for an educator's position. My volunteer work and my work as a new educator opened the doors for the previous positions. (That's a nugget of someone). I knew they were looking for a math coach. I haven't had that experience by title. I've mentored newer teachers before, but never with the title. However, I knew I was definitely in preparation for the next level.

I didn't tell many people about the interview. As mentioned, my immediate supervisor knew (but not my principal), my basketball coaches, my mother, and a few people in my inner circle. Maybe 7 or 8 people in total. That morning I received a text message from an unsaved number, " Good luck on your interview today." Since the number was not saved, I did not know who sent the message. I didn't want to say, "Who is this?" Therefore, I responded, "Thank you! I will let you know how it goes."

The normal process is to interview followed by the waiting process. I interviewed with the assistant principal and another leader in the building. The questions felt like they were tailored made for me. Many of the questions they asked were of situations I had dealt with at my current school. I was able to offer them tangible solutions to some of their current problems.  We were literally nodding as the other was talking. As the conversation progressed, I felt very comfortable with the interview. She mentioned they were working with a school improvement specialist from the state. She was especially working with them in the area of math. She stated the specialist name. I almost fell out of my seat. The specialist was my former math coordinator who had left about 6 months before and currently was THEIR school specialist! Many of my answers to the questions were based on my experience working with her. My solutions to their questions were the same solutions she had mentioned to them. ORDERED STEP

At the end of the interview, she told me they would make a decision soon. Then she looked at the other lady and asked me to wait outside. At that moment, I knew they were going to offer me the job. ORDERED STEP

I waited for about five minutes. During that time, I met another assistant principal. We made small talk as I waited. When she came out, he said, "I recommend her for the job." She looked at him and started laughing. She stated, "I guess he stole my thunder. I would like to offer you the position of math academic coach."

As soon as I left, I called my assistant principal who is my immediate supervisor. She was just as excited as I was. She questioned, "So what are you going to do? You know you can't NOT take the job. This is the next step for you in your educator's walk." I knew she was right. I knew it was a job I could do with some training/guidance. But I was conflicted because I would have to leave my babies and my team in the middle of the year. I was the department chair and over several other clubs and teams. She knew what I was thinking. She quickly said, "We will be fine! If you died today, they will look for your replacement tomorrow. So are you going to tell the principal or do you want me to tell him?"

Remember the person who texted me from the unsaved number? I texted the person the interview went well and I was offered the job. The person responded, "I know. I am sitting with your new principal. I will call you this evening." The person called me and we talked for about 5 minutes. All the while, I did not have a clue who was on the other end of the phone. Then it clicked! It was my old math coordinator. The same person working with the new school with improving math instruction! They told her they were interviewing 2 people. She knew both of us and told them they wouldn't go wrong with choosing either of us. As far as I know, the other person was never interviewed. ORDERED STEP

With educators, it can be tricky to get out of your contract in the middle of the year. A principal can make it hard, especially if you are involved in many extra duties. The next day at work, I spoke with my principal. He was upset that I had an interview without telling him. He wanted to know how they could offer me a job without even speaking with him. Initially, he said I couldn't take the position because I was under contract. I reminded him that if I received a new job that was a promotion in position or pay, I could get out of the contract. This was both! He then told me that I couldn't get out of my contract without him having a replacement for me. He was not having a valuable math teacher leave without someone in place. I told him that he had about three weeks to find a replacement and I would help in the search.

He asked about my student teacher from the year before. I told him the principal from a nearby school asked me for a reference. He immediately called her and offered her my job. She agreed to take it because she was familiar with my style of teaching and my students' routines. I turned my official letter of resignation and he accepted it. A week later, she decided she did not want my old job. Since my resignation was accepted, he could not hold me back. ORDERED STEP

I tell people all the time, my steps have been ordered on this current road. I don't know where the road is going. I just know I will continue to listen and take the next ordered step!







 

The Big 45

Many people use January 1st to create New Year's resolutions with many of them forgotten by January 31st. No judgement. I'm guilty as well. One time, my friend LadyLee shared with me her thoughts about resolutions versus setting goals in January. Resolutions are created but few really make a commitment to seeing them come to fruition. They make us feel good about making them because we get caught up with the hope and newness of a new year. However, when you set a goal, you set your mind to accomplish it. It made total sense to me. Ever since that conversation, I have set at least one goal every January for the calendar year. I would evaluate and make adjustments in June which is my birthday month (new year of my life).

I am turning 45 this year. People remember my celebrating 40 years in 40 days. That had them waiting for what I was planning for 45. Instead of having 45 days of activities, I created 45 goals to complete before I turn 46. My goals came in spurts; I worked on them for about a month. The goals range from taking a day to complete to taking almost the year. I solicited some of my friends to give me some ideas. Some I utilized, others I tweaked, and a few was not happening! I do appreciate all of their help to make this task become a reality.

It was a great process. Initially, I was planning to just write 45 goals on a piece of paper or in a notebook. But if you know my friends, they were not going to let it be that basic. One of my friends suggested I write them on index cards and stick them on my wall. As I completed them, take them down. That got the creative juices flowing. Instead of just putting them up randomly and taking them down, we came up with writing each goal on a colored index card. The cards are arranged into the number 45. As each goal is completed, I will cover it with a plain white index card. I will take a picture monthly, preferably on the 20th, to have a pictorial progression of achieving my goals.

Here is some pictures of me getting it together. I actually put my wall up at the end of May. I keep saying instead of having a vision board, I have a vision wall!

Getting the 45 just right

The Vision Wall is right outside of my bedroom

My nephew assisted me with putting it on the wall. It was great opportunity for us to talk about setting goals and having accountability partners. We read each goal with him wanting to have some of the same goals. For instance, he has decided we are going to learn how to swim together. He even wrote his name on that card to accept the role as my accountability partner.

Speaking of accountability partners, I have asked my friends to select at least one of my goals to hold my feet to the fire. I have added an explanation point to the 45 to track my goals with repeated actions. For instance, I want to read 8 books for pleasure. I will list the title and date of completion of each book. If you see a goal you want to assist me, please let me know!

The amazing thing is Habakkuk 2:2 is already in full swing. One of the goals I wrote was a girls getaway. Literally within minutes of me placing it on the wall, a group of us was reminiscing about a trip we took 3 years ago. Someone said we were overdue. And just like that, the next one was planned for this summer.

With it being June 20th, I have started attacking my goals. This is blog #1 of 45 for the next 365 days. I plan to blog about this experience throughout the year. Feel free to come back to check on my progress. Better yet, grab a goal and work it out with me! Let's enjoy this ride together.

Six Sunday Sentiments

1. I am such a horrible blogger. Who only blogs a handful of times year?

2. I think I am turning into my mother. Growing up we had friends and cousins moved in with us. Apparently, I have that gene. So far Man-Child's best friend, one of my former basketball players, my niece, and my nephew have lived with me at one time or other.  

3. The new school year has started. It is wearing me out! Most of my administration is new with new ideas. One thing is for sure, my coaching time is protected. The principal hired 2 additional academic coaches. So I am excited about being able to learn so much from them. My coaching vision board will become a reality. 

4. Football season is here! I am spending my Friday under the lights and Saturdays traveling to see my Man-Children. 

5. When I first started this post, I just knew I had so much to talk about. I am struggling to come up with 6! 

6. I am really trying to become more organize. I am creating a coach's notebook to plan my days. I am creating a chore chart for my nephew. We made a deal that he will earn $1 each day nobody has to remind him to do his chores. I am going to create one for myself as well for the chores I want to do on certain days. I had a meme that have daily chores. I need to find and print it out. 

Whew! I got through it. Now off to bed! 

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I said I was going to do better. I know one day I will slow down and take the time to reflect AND write/type what I am feeling. ONE DAY. I love going back to read old blogs and remember what I was feeling at that time.

2. Someone tried to steal my Man-Child's identity. The crazy thing is I thought about telling him to run his credit about a month ago. Yesterday, I (meaning he) received a letter in the mail stating someone tried to file a tax return using his name. Well, obviously, the person wasn't that smart. They didn't use his correct government name. He will request all credit reports. This will be a great lesson on credit watching, credit building, and identity theft.

3. Its testing season in Georgia. Well I guess all over the country. This week is testing for my school. It is sure is different from testing in my old county. I am just going to leave it at that comment.

4. I need to get to writing my chapters in a book I am co-authoring with one of my college friends. We have already decided on the chapters of our book. We just need to write! This man has a great mind for money and business. We are writing a book geared to recent high school graduates and college students. When I get a goal, it is imperative for me to create a vision board to remind myself of my goals and dreams. Here is the vision board for the book.

5. Summer school and the next school year are heavily on my mind. I really want to see growth in the teachers I am coaching. This is by far the biggest impact and resource on our students. A great teacher can literally change or elevate the trajectory of a child. Of course I created a vision board for that as well!

6. I have a massive headache. This is the 2nd one in a week. I think its sinus related. I notice if I am not consistent with allergy medicine during this time of year, I have issues. This is the 1st year that my issues have been a headache though. It reminded me to take my medicine though! 

7. My guys have decided to spend the summer in Birmingham to work, workout, and take a class or two. They are entering their last full year of college. If I am honest, I feel some kind of way about it. I thought I would get to hang out with my guys this summer. I guess they are really (semi)grown. 

I know they don't look grown in this picture. They were clowning at their track meet that was local. I went and hung out with them for the day. 

8. The Detroit teachers had a blue out yesterday. They are protesting because their school district stated they ran out of money to pay them. I need to read more on this matter. I am confused how that happens. I know they have unions in the North as well. This is not good for all involved. 

9. I am in another challenge. Hopefully, I will be able to finish this one! Its 100 days of happiness. The premise is simple. We are responsible for our own happiness; therefore, we should find some happiness daily. Even when you are having a bad day, there is at least 1 thing that made you smile or brighten your day. Today is day 3. I am looking for the opportunity. 

10. Speaking of challenges, I need to get back posting my daily gratitude posts. I think I have NOT posted more than I have. Because I am a overcoming procrastinator and perfectionist, I don't post daily cause I don't have the right pictures or my words are not elaborate enough to post. I have to get pass my hangups and celebrate my friends while they are here. I like "giving flowers to the living."

Welp, that's it for now. Maybe I will post again before the month ends. 

“DON’T DATE SINGLE MOTHERS AND DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME WITH THEM” Part 1 Rebuttal

This article was posted in one of my groups in FB. Usually, I would read and just shake my head. However, I could not get past this one. Maybe because I think there is a huge difference between being a single mother and being a baby mama. Some don't see a difference. I do. This was the case way before I even became a single mother.

When I read the article, I immediately started writing a rebuttal in the comment section. However, I was breaking one of my FB rules, "No blogging in the comment section." So since I didn't want to break my rule. I made a simple comment, "I don't agree and I will blog about it."

1. Never Available. A single Mother’s schedule is never open. Single mothers are the kind of women to always cancel dates at the last minute. Something always gets in the way of a man spending time with her. It’s hard to have a relationship with her because she’s never there.

I wouldn't say "never available" but I would say she schedules her time, especially her free time, more than most. Her ability to be spontaneous is limited to honoring her schedule with the needs and wants of her children. If she has children who are active in extra curricular activities (practices, games, meets, meetings, etc) then that carves into her limited time. She has LIMITED availability not NO availability. That should not discredit her desire to spend time with you. It causes you all to be creative on when you can spend time together. You may have to meet while the children are at practice for a walk around the park or a cup of coffee at the nearby bookstore or coffee shop. She may only have about an hour to carve out during the week. Capitalize on her free every other weekend when the children are with their father. If something is wrong  (sick or some other major problem) with her children is the main reason she will cancel dates (not see you) at the last minute. If she is exhausted from her week, then she would suggest doing something at home versus going out to spend time with you.

2. YOU are NOT a priority. Usually in a relationship the man winds up DEAD LAST. Behind, her kids, her job, the car, the kitchen sink, the stopped up toilet. Even the dog gets more attention and affection than a man involved with a single mother. Any man who gets involved with a single mother winds up a fifth stringer in a relationship. And he rarely ever gets called up to play.

You are not the FIRST priority but you are a priority IF you are in a relationship. I think the author was exaggerating a bit with being a priority behind "the kitchen sink and the stopped up toilet"; however, if not, then a man can assist/help/fix that problem. Men love to solve problems. These are simple problems/priorities to fix to eliminate you feeling like you are not a priority. Here's an added benefit. She will feel like a priority TO you if you help her with her other priorities. Many women are interested in you will do what they can to be with you. However, they have to make sure their children are good. How would you feel if she is spending time with you and there are things she is neglecting to make her life and her children's life comfortable? If she becomes your wife, she will have this same logic or trait in your daily combined world.

3. Thinks the world revolves around HER and ONLY HER. A single mother is one of the biggest narcissists on the dating scene. She often thinks that a man has to drop everything in his life to be part of hers and her kids. They’re so selfish they don’t think a man has needs, wants or a life of his own. He’s just supposed to be there to give her everything she wants in life.

This is soooooooo far from the truth! She does not EXPECT you to drop EVERYTHING but she does expect you to understand her time is limited. Read #1. If you want more time, just understand it will include family time because she is a package deal. I know many women who do not bring random men around her children. So if you are not solidified as a couple, she will probably limit your time around her children anyway. Again, see #1. She will probably expect you to be more flexible with your time if you do not have physical custody or share physical custody of your children.

4. Emotionally Unavailable- Most Single mothers cannot form an intimate connection with a man because her feelings are invested in other people. Usually her primary focus is on her children.

In addition to dedicating herself to her children, most single mothers have given their hearts to someone else- their children’s father. And those feelings she still has for him will always prevent her from getting closer to you. There will always be some distance between a single mother and the new man in her life.

Ummm....yeah if she is holding a torch for her children's father, then yeah that's a problem. If the children are young, I would even say you need to make sure she is emotionally over him. This is true with any woman whether she has children or not. Heck, it's true for men as well. I think everyone should take a break before jumping into a new relationship. Everyone need time to purge the old love from his or her system. Take time to deal with the baggage that comes from a failed relationship or marriage. Don't think JUST time heals the pain. Time with dealing with the baggage makes a person ready to move one.

5. The ex/ Baby Daddy is ALWAYS THERE. A man just doesn’t deal with a single mother. He deals with her ex or her baby daddy as well. And this guy is always hovering around like a helicopter looking to c*ckblock you. Some of these guys still think they have a shot at getting back with her. Others just don’t want to see her happy. A lot of these dudes want to f!ght over her.

Seriously, it’s a game they’re playing with each other. And they’ll be playing that game with each other until their children turn 18 or 21. Head for the exit. It’s just not worth dealing with this fool and his insecure bullshyt.

For some that is the case, especially if they have not dealt with their baggage. However, I have noticed this is not the case when both parties have truly moved on. Normally, when the woman without any shadow of a doubt is done with her child(ren)'s father(s), then this is not a situation that is not easily handled. For the child sake, I would hope the dad is around to co-parent their child but that should be the extent of their relationship. Is that a reality? Absolutely! I have lived it and watched others do it as well.

There were 15 things on the list. I will continue the other 10 in future posts. I didn't want to make this post extremely long. The original article was long by itself. 

10 Tuesday Thoughts

1. I really need to blog more. I have ideas but either I don't have the time or think I can't expand on it long enough for a decent blog.

2. I am loving my Grateful366 campaign. I have several friends who have taken the challenge of posting a gratitude dedicated to someone for the entire year.

3. My new gig is INTERESTING. There is a lot of adjustment on my part and theirs. I literally have a 3 page to-do list from the state liaison to get us where we need to be. I keep saying "baby steps, baby steps" and "As long as there is some progress, then its progress."

4. My chants from #3 did not work for me yesterday. Today WILL be a better day.

5. Since my day was not pleasant yesterday, I took my happiness into my own hands and started creating and gathering pictures and quotes for my 2 newest vision boards.

6. Speaking of vision boards, I created a new on Sunday. Southern Belle invited me to the country to work on them with some of her family and friends. We had a great time!

 7. My shirt got a lot of love! Hopefully, my friends will support Gimme a Bling and purchase this one or others. She does quality work and none of her shirts have messy or negative sayings.

8. The month of January went by pretty fast. I don't know if that means I am getting old or I am enjoying my days. I am going to go with option 2. 

9. This year's theme at church is "Dream Again". As confirmation, several of my friends have reignited our group to push some of our dreams. I will help a friend with his dream/goal of writing a book. I am hashing out the plans for an adventure as well. (Vision boards are in progress for each)

10. I think the "10 Thoughts Posts" are becoming a routine around these parts. They are quick to do. 

Living in One of my Purposes (in Pictures)

Many people feel they don't know what is their purpose. I have struggled with it. I would venture to say that we have more than one purpose here on this place we call Earth. I know one of my purposes is to be an educator. I have been an educator wayyyyyyyyyy before I stepped into the classroom. I know that sounds crazy. SO let me explain. I have been educating/teaching people on different things for as long as I can remember.

In my opinion, teaching is more than just a job. It is who you are. It is in your bones, your spirit, your heart. No matter how much my students fight me on learning, I still keep coming back for more. It is so worth it when they finally get it. When I see the "light bulb" go off, it makes my heart smiles. Sometimes I am more excited about it than them.

I love this picture above. I have made it my profile picture on Facebook several times. It is a representation of what I love to do. TEACH! And support my babies. If you look closely, I am wearing " I wear for Tiana" Tee. Tiana is one of my Delta nieces that overcame childhood bone cancer. She is our Princess Warrior. Her journey was such a testimony to her strength and the foundation of love, strength, grace and so much more that her parents (and village) deposited into her.

This dude right here. He is dubbed as my favorite by the kids. Probably because I kept him out of so much trouble and let him get away with so much. Look at him. He is a runt! I don't even have on heels and I am looking down on him. This picture was taken when he was a freshman. He is now a junior and taller than me. He always says "This is OUR room! They better fall in line!"

These ladies are part of the DHS "Mighty Math Department." I would put up the team of teachers I had when I started there against any math department anywhere. These ladies were more than coworkers; they became my friends. This is from the night where senior football players had their favorite teachers wear their jerseys. I wasn't even working there anymore, but one of my babies requested them to call me and ask me to come and wear his jerseys. This is when you know what you do matters. They don't have to be the perfect student or child, but it still matters that you care and deposited into them. Man, I love reaching the next generation.

These are some of my original babies catching the action from a football game. To this day, they check in with me and make sure they spend some time with me when they are home from break. I never even taught the one on the far right. I think they have given me more than I have even given them. They let us know it is well worth what we do! 

Signing Day! 

Signing Day! 

These are a couple of pictures from Signing Day at my last school. I can't say enough great things about the coaches for the girl's basketball program. They do so much for the girls that they call them "Our 2 dads." They mentor, teach, counsel, give tough love, feed, transport, and anything else they need. They are constantly exposing them to opportunities and experiences outside of their school and neighborhood. One of the coaches is a community coach and gives his time freely. I mean a lot of time. He will even pop up and sit in classes if any of the girls are cutting up in a class. 

The coaches (and now even me since I am part of the coaching staff) can get the girls to open up about almost anything. I am sure we know more stuff about them then their parents. Since we have this awesome responsibility, we make sure we are advising them as we would our own children.  

The 2 seniors signing did not have any schools looking at them before the season started. One of the young ladies didn't even play until January due to an ACL injury. Both received full rides to college. 

Now, this is my baby boy!!!!  I think this kid started calling me "Ma-muh" before he got off of my roster. Once the teachers and staff realized he was one of my extra sons, they did not hesitate to call on me when needed. I was even added as an emergency contact. I use him as an example at the beginning of every semester and throughout the school year when needed. I told them, "If I let my baby boy earn a sit in summer school, what do you think I will let you earn?!"

This simple gesture was a gift from a student. No reason other than to show appreciation to me. Most teachers are like me. A simple card, note, or token of appreciation is the fuel we need to keep going. It is a reminder that what we do does matter.

One of my babies. I see so much potential in her. Her mom has allowed me to spend time with her outside of school. We have gone to church, shopping, and vision board parties. I listen to her dreams and fears. Give her advice and hugs when needed. Most of all, I am just there for her.

One of my peers nominated me for Teacher of the Month. It was an honor for my colleagues to see the extra miles I go for my kids. Yes, I say they are my kids, cause that is exactly how I treat them. Like a parent, they know they better not show out in front of company (visitors who may visit) or with a substitute. We can have fun, joke, and get loose. BUT you will NOT show out unless you want ME TO SHOW OUT,

This collage above is a snapshot of what I meant that our coaches are expanding our children's thinking. We had a state playoff game about 3 hours away. Instead of leaving early the day of the game, we left the evening before the game. Instead of practicing at the school, coach made arrangements for the girls to practice at one of the local colleges. Subconsciously, he was planting the seed for them to play on the next level which means going to college. For some, they hadn't thought about what's next after high school. Again, planting seeds! Now we are watering, pruning, and growing our little flowers for the next phase of their lives.

These young ladies are my "daughters". You would not believe how many students come by to confirm they belong to me. I even heard students argue each other down about them being my daughters. I just laugh. At least they are using their reasoning skills outside of my class. LOL!

Even on my Founder's Day, I am putting in work for my babies. This is from one of our games which was on January 13th. Still represented for my sorority while working.

I truly believe I am charged with teaching/educating the whole student. I just don't teach math. I teach life and life skills. I took a couple of days with a class to create vision boards. They cut, drew, wrote their life goals after high school. It was the 1st time for many to think pass today. We took time to reflect on whether their actions of today will assist them in reaching their goals/dreams of the future.

They did it! They finally wore me down. I will now tolerate girls long term....LOL!!!! For those who know me, I prefer to have a class of all or mainly all boys over girls any day. I know I can work a nerve because I require you to give me more than you want to give. Girls tend to hold on to grudges for-ev-ah! Boys get their feelings hurt and are over it later that day or the next. These girls though. They got my heart (and usually my phone for selfies and us-ies).

And at the end of the day, I just want them to be Super Stars in their lives.